Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (7 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 April 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12590
  • Number of comments : 1712
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 35 posted

About Mauskau : My name is Zabrina, I'm 4"11 and I'm an Fieldwork Technology Programmer. I would like to become a pilot but I'm too short for cadetships, so I will have to get there the hard way and spend lots of money but I might just stick to IT.

I live in Maidenhead, which is near London in England. I would like to have some hobbies other than gaming and weight training, but I don't have enough time between work and sleeping. I apparently also like to be sideways, as the app always rotates my profile pictures the wrong way.

If you would like to have a conversation with me, please start it with something more interesting than "hello", "hi" or "hi babe". I'm not here for online dating, so please don't try. Thank you :>

What the hell is this sending people a "fuck"? :s

Mauskau's page activity

Visits<b>Malteser95</b> - 54 minutes ago<b>jake_braves</b> - 10 hours ago<b>BakedTaters</b> - 22 hours ago<b>Crazyjohnb</b> - yesterday at 2:25pm<b>WearingHats</b> - yesterday at 10:15am<b>sandman676</b> - yesterday at 4:15am<b>JJ_V3N0M</b> - yesterday at 1:45am<b>EnigMind</b> - yesterday at 12:53am<b>Soninuva</b> - yesterday at 11:05pm<b>byattwain</b> - yesterday at 10:20pm<b>seenoevil818</b> - yesterday at 10:09pm<b>dewberry2001</b> - yesterday at 7:17pm<b>noway1987</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 6:02pm<b>je83185</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 12:56pm<b>MrPigg</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 1:44am<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:21pm<b>thrasher590</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:31pm<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:25pm

Liked!<b>JJ_V3N0M</b> - yesterday at 7:45am<b>XPhoenixFire</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 8:19am<b>nightwings</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 12:12pm<b>ana_lee_bonde</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 4:59am<b>byattwain</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 4:35am<b>b5b0n36</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 6:24pm<b>donte4122</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 5:18am<b>Mc_Knapkins</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:30pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 10:21am<b>clairesucks</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 1:27pm<b>chickenlips23</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 5:24am<b>buckstop1</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 2:39am<b>imapartypooper</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 8:45pm<b>hammonds92</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 5:52pm<b>Devindelon</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 3:43pm<b>hippodankamus</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 2:01am<b>RooPeanutButter</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 11:39pm<b>otecasacid</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 3:49pm

Mauskau's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

See all of Mauskau's badges

Mauskau's favorite FMLs

Today, I need to find a way to explain to my 5, 7 and 12 year old kids their uncle wants to become their aunt. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51256) - you deserved it (9787)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was told that all the data on my laptop is unrecoverable after my hard drive crashed. I have been charged £300 for them to tell me this. Feeling sorry for myself, I wrapped myself up in a blanket and turned on my fan radiator as it's so cold... and promptly set my carpet on fire. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27911) - you deserved it (3495)

On 10/26/2010 at 9:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, my girlfriend and my parents staged an intervention, and have asked me to go to rehab. What they want me to go to rehab for? World of Warcraft. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10616) - you deserved it (63163)

On 10/25/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by leve80paladin (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No, now get out of my house." FML


I agree, your life sucks (39723) - you deserved it (4268)

On 10/07/2010 at 10:26am - love - by Vinny1017 - United States (New York)

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26063) - you deserved it (4489)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm - animals - by ukfan - United States

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23995) - you deserved it (2357)

On 10/04/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by ifpigsflew (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36097) - you deserved it (4115)

On 09/24/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by Andrew - United States (Indiana)

Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML


I agree, your life sucks (34625) - you deserved it (3942)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27534) - you deserved it (17826)

On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22411) - you deserved it (43228)

On 07/17/2010 at 2:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband and I took a walk on the wharf. We walked by a Wax Museum and in front of the museum there was a bench with a very realistic wax man sitting on it. I got very close to his face and yelled over to my husband how realistic the wax man looked. Just then, he coughed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (6912) - you deserved it (30029)

On 02/13/2010 at 8:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my maid washed my PS3. Yes, with soap and water. FML

Today, I was at the theatre watching a movie. There was a lady and a kid behind me. I all of a sudden felt ice hit my head. I turned around and asked the kid to stop, then heard his mom say, "Hit that cow!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (26427) - you deserved it (2515)

On 02/07/2010 at 2:21am - misc - by HitbyIce (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, during a basketball game, I fell into metal chairs which then decided to fold in, causing me to fall to the floor in a very dramatic and painful fall. When I stood up, so did everyone else and they were all clapping, including the other team. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19895) - you deserved it (2967)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:25am - health - by aurorason - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that if you slip on ice, imitating Mario from Super Mario Bros when he attempts to stop himself slipping, won't work in real life. I now have a broken nose, as well as a blood trail running from my driveway into my kitchen. FML


I agree, your life sucks (7719) - you deserved it (28016)

On 01/25/2010 at 1:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: