About Mauskau : I don't need anything exciting on here, you already came here for the poro.
Mauskau's FML badges
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Mauskau's favorite FMLs
by nick / 12/23/2010 at 9:21pm / United States (Missouri) / Transportation
Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML
Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML
by Anonymous / 11/10/2010 at 10:29am / United Kingdom (York) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 11/09/2010 at 12:32am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I was told that all the data on my laptop is unrecoverable after my hard drive crashed. I have been charged £300 for them to tell me this. Feeling sorry for myself, I wrapped myself up in a blanket and turned on my fan radiator as it's so cold... and promptly set my carpet on fire. FML
by Anonymous / 10/26/2010 at 9:50am / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Miscellaneous
by leve80paladin / 10/25/2010 at 11:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Vinny1017 / 10/07/2010 at 10:26am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML
by ukfan / 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm / United States / Animals
by ifpigsflew / 10/04/2010 at 7:31pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Health
Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML
by Andrew / 09/24/2010 at 6:22am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2010 at 10:00am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
by Indigo_Kitten / 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/17/2010 at 2:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, my husband and I took a walk on the wharf. We walked by a Wax Museum and in front of the museum there was a bench with a very realistic wax man sitting on it. I got very close to his face and yelled over to my husband how realistic the wax man looked. Just then, he coughed. FML
by Anonymous / 02/13/2010 at 8:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Vastu / 02/07/2010 at 12:42pm / Nepal / Money
- Today, I discovered that my new college roommate not only makes casual conversation about his bowel… Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle… Today, I was handling corrosive chemicals when I accidentally spilled a beaker of Hydrochloric Acid…