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Mauskau

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Mauskau
  • Town/Country : Maidenhead, England
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 April 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 8076
  • Number of comments : 1135
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

About Mauskau : My name is Zabrina, I'm 4"11 and I'm an apprentice IT engineer. I would like to become a pilot but I'm too short for cadetships, so I will have to get there the hard way and spend lots of money . I live in Maidenhead, which is near London in England. I would like to have some hobbies other than gaming, but I don't have enough time between work and sleeping.

If you would like to have a conversation with me, please start it with something more interesting than "hello", "hi" or "hi babe". I'm not here for online dating, so please don't try. Thank you :>

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Mauskau's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard a little girl ask her mom if the round lady in purple was pretending to be a giant eggplant. I was the lady in purple. FML

#15264550
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23391) - you deserved it (8183)

On 03/10/2011 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

#14954867
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13602) - you deserved it (54992)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the horn in my car decided to malfunction. It honked continuously for an hour as I drove down the highway. FML

#14315930
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22952) - you deserved it (2361)

On 12/23/2010 at 9:21pm - misc - by nick (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML

#13862354
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8355) - you deserved it (21791)

On 11/16/2010 at 5:07am - misc - by huulo -

Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML

#13788956
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6858) - you deserved it (44833)

On 11/10/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I need to find a way to explain to my 5, 7 and 12 year old kids their uncle wants to become their aunt. FML

#13773002
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45151) - you deserved it (8491)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was told that all the data on my laptop is unrecoverable after my hard drive crashed. I have been charged £300 for them to tell me this. Feeling sorry for myself, I wrapped myself up in a blanket and turned on my fan radiator as it's so cold... and promptly set my carpet on fire. FML

#13600670
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23491) - you deserved it (3071)

On 10/26/2010 at 9:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, my girlfriend and my parents staged an intervention, and have asked me to go to rehab. What they want me to go to rehab for? World of Warcraft. FML

#13588897
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8853) - you deserved it (58765)

On 10/25/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by leve80paladin (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No, now get out of my house." FML

#13353894
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36765) - you deserved it (4004)

On 10/07/2010 at 10:26am - love - by Vinny1017 - United States (New York)

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

#13342166
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23377) - you deserved it (4185)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm - animals - by ukfan - United States

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

#13320249
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20382) - you deserved it (2091)

On 10/04/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by ifpigsflew (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML

#13180631
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30256) - you deserved it (3223)

On 09/24/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by Andrew - United States (Indiana)

Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

#12975254
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30134) - you deserved it (3527)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

#12377816
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23752) - you deserved it (16720)

On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML

#11935766
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20781) - you deserved it (41313)

On 07/17/2010 at 2:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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