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Mauskau

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Mauskau

240Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 April 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13247
  • Number of comments : 1772
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 35 posted

About Mauskau : My name is Zabrina, I'm 4"11 and I'm an Fieldwork Technology Programmer. I would like to become a pilot but I'm too short for cadetships, so I will have to get there the hard way and spend lots of money but I might just stick to IT.

I live in Maidenhead, which is near London in England. I would like to have some hobbies other than gaming and weight training, but I don't have enough time between work and sleeping. I apparently also like to be sideways, as the app always rotates my profile pictures the wrong way.

If you would like to have a conversation with me, please start it with something more interesting than "hello", "hi" or "hi babe". I'm not here for online dating, so please don't try. Thank you :>

What the hell is this sending people a "fuck"? :s

Mauskau's page activity

Visits<b>kaz55</b> - 4 hours ago<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - 5 hours ago<b>erla</b> - 13 hours ago<b>chippy333</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Badkarma4u</b> - 20 hours ago<b>maximus_prime</b> - yesterday at 3:29am<b>Jordyn_Lei</b> - yesterday at 3:15am<b>paravoz</b> - yesterday at 2:21am<b>kbsimmer</b> - yesterday at 10:34pm<b>hazerdagreek</b> - yesterday at 10:01pm<b>aylind</b> - yesterday at 8:29pm<b>Corey122726</b> - yesterday at 6:43pm<b>IniestaRox</b> - yesterday at 3:37pm<b>Kevejoe</b> - yesterday at 3:09pm<b>Farmillionaire</b> - yesterday at 11:32am<b>RayneWolf13</b> - yesterday at 9:10am<b>H3LL_K1D</b> - yesterday at 7:44am<b>Mmkay1515</b> - yesterday at 7:19am

Fucked!<b>boostedc</b> - yesterday at 9:15am<b>chivadz</b> - yesterday at 4:40am<b>MELKOZAR</b> - yesterday at 4:38am<b>LanceGoodthrust</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 8:33am<b>insanecutie</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 5:55am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 4:49am<b>thebighurt</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 4:41am<b>Earthdforce</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 10:25pm<b>pattycakeys12</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 5:42pm<b>tiwan</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 3:04pm<b>theTravinator</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 6:39am<b>felixhdez</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 4:41am<b>AndyPurdy</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 12:15pm<b>amine91</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 7:52pm<b>4WheelBurnout</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 7:28am<b>demonicninja</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 4:35am<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 11:56pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 2:31pm

Mauskau's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of Mauskau's badges

Mauskau's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29781) - you deserved it (13134)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28528) - you deserved it (3349)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

#21292742
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35621) - you deserved it (8618)

On 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28756) - you deserved it (24134)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48363) - you deserved it (4000)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43460) - you deserved it (27752)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found my 6 year old daughter upstairs lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving "the carpet a haircut." FML

#21221737
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35289) - you deserved it (4595)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:51am - kids - by ... (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35296) - you deserved it (11547)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I was at the mall in the food court, when some guy asked for my number. I turned him down, but I was impressed with how ballsy he was. Without thinking, I said, "I like your balls!" Half the place instantly fell silent. FML

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37290) - you deserved it (4097)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML

#21098025
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39752) - you deserved it (4912)

On 03/27/2014 at 8:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML

#21096589
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38423) - you deserved it (5707)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:53pm - work - by Coryj1220 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I saw my friend's car in front of school. I'd had a bad day and just wanted to talk with her. I got in and sat down, and felt something squish beneath me. Turns out it wasn't actually my friend's car, and I'd just sat on a random woman's cake. FML

#20978310
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36782) - you deserved it (25807)

On 12/02/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by Sherressa (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I asked a co-worker why he was wearing sandals, as they are not allowed under our strict dress code. He got extremely angry with me and stormed off. Ten minutes later, I got called into our boss' office. Apparently, he told her that I walked up to him and asked to suck his toes. FML

#20956059
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41188) - you deserved it (3634)

On 11/13/2013 at 4:00am - work - by feetfreak (woman) - United States (California)



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