Matthew86

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Offline (the 02/20/2016 at 7:12pm)

Matthew86

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2517
  • Number of comments : 170
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Matthew86 : I finally have managed to get my password reset so that I can comment on this app....Woo Hoo!!

Matthew86's page activity

Visits<b>AJXDGaming</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 11:07pm<b>flannelboss27</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 9:09am<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 8:55am<b>ChristinePi</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 7:49am<b>JadeClifford</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 5:30pm<b>erla</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 8:49am<b>mds9986</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 2:22am<b>pataplop</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 12:43pm<b>Nitwit_Nitni</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 11:41pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 3:01pm<b>victorsaurus01</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 11:58am<b>earlytermination</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 4:01am<b>trevorr_16</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 3:43am<b>ki087</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 11:47pm<b>ShayShay48</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 3:54pm<b>sadpanda888</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 12:23pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 11:11pm<b>Miss_Whipped</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 3:54am

Fucked!<b>Miss_Whipped</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 9:51am<b>sunnyskys</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 5:23am<b>lex1459</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 7:40am<b>woahwhatchild</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 11:10pm

Matthew86's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Matthew86's badges

Matthew86's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if you mix beer, an axe, shotgun shells and bad judgment, you get a rather expensive hospital stay. FML

Today, I was talking with some friends and the girl I like. During a lull in the conversation, she looked at me and said, "Ugh, I really wanna pop your zits." FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2015 at 9:45am / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, at age 27, I went to pick up the girl I like for my first ever date. Her brother answered the door with a baseball bat, said the date was off and threatened to smash my kneecaps to pieces if I ever came back. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2015 at 2:39am / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I learned that your crotch can just light up on the body scanner in the airport for no apparent reason; and when that happens, a thorough pat down of that area will be performed by a confused security officer. FML

by Traveler / 10/08/2015 at 10:06pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a group gym lesson. While working on our abs, the coach came through, touching our stomachs to check we were doing the exercises correctly. When he got to me, he asked, "How many kids have you got then?" I'm 22, and I've got none. FML

by Mel / 10/05/2015 at 12:21am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Health

Today, my boyfriend fed a "random mushroom from the woods" to my rabbit. It then had a violent seizure and died. He claims it must have been from "natural causes". FML

Today, my married life pretty much consists of punching myself in the penis until my libido goes down, since my wife has physical ailments that prevent her from even wanting to have sex. FML

by scoobysnarks / 09/24/2015 at 7:49am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I walked in on my drunk roommate grinding up stale marshmallows and attempting to snort them. FML

by KindaLooksLikeCocaine / 09/23/2015 at 7:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my "friends" pulled an elaborate prank on me. First, they changed my ringtone to a recording of someone saying "Allahu Akbar" on repeat. Then, they called me as we had a moment of silence in honor of the 9/11 victims. FML

by EverettA / 09/11/2015 at 9:50am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got hit by a USPS truck. Luckily, I have car insurance. Just kidding. My insurance got cancelled two days ago for lack of responding to letters they sent. Letters that the USPS didn't deliver. FML

Today, the girl I like at work surprised me in the otherwise empty break room. She caught me taking part in what might as well have been the Ball-Scratching Olympics. I didn't notice she was behind me until she cleared her throat to get my attention. Shit. FML

by ballthlete / 09/06/2015 at 12:55am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I showed my daughter video footage from a security camera that showed her using her employee key to enter the store I own, disarming the alarm, and stealing several very valuable items. Her defense? That someone had "photoshopped" the video. We'll see how that goes down in court. FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2015 at 1:01pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I brought home a new small glass necklace and put it somewhere I figured that the cats couldn't reach. I was wrong. Now I will be looking through kitty litter to find something smaller than a dime. Talk about needle in a haystack. FML

Today, my date came to pick me up for a date. As I was getting into his car, a large blister on my foot burst. My foot is now swimming in a pool of hot, liquid pus. FML

by Szaszaspasz / 08/24/2015 at 6:35pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my psycho ex got into my wedding ceremony and attacked my wife. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2015 at 1:50pm / United States / Love