MattRoseen

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MattRoseen

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 6 January 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3278
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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MattRoseen's page activity

Visits<b>udaykataria</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 10:13am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 9:45am<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 1:24pm<b>Robin612</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 8:30am<b>slippy327</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 10:37am<b>ilovemonkeybutts</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 8:54am<b>jsb1426</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 8:37am<b>nyf137</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 12:42am<b>WordBea</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 6:22am<b>NineeCat</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 3:27pm<b>Bruins4Life</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 1:33am<b>JustScrollingBy</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 7:36pm<b>Immortal_Toaster</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 1:02pm<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 7:32pm<b>anonymous188</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 3:03pm<b>Ari3l</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 8:17pm<b>tigerborn69</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 3:54pm<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 11:17pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 3:45pm

MattRoseen's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of MattRoseen's badges

MattRoseen's favorite FMLs

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2013 at 1:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my sister went into a blind rage at me for "upstaging" her by announcing that I'm pregnant, two months after she did the same. My husband and I have been trying for two years. She's in high school and doesn't even know who the father is. FML

by bntje / 04/14/2013 at 4:39pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML

by fatmom / 04/10/2013 at 9:26am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Kids

Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML

by saywhat / 04/09/2013 at 7:05am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

by Ribbed for Her Disaster / 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, my cousin is visiting from Oklahoma. He can't go a minute without saying "YOLO" or "Swag". He's going to be here for a week. FML

by fuck YOLO / 04/03/2013 at 1:20am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

by madiison09 / 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

by immaturity all around / 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm / United States / Love

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

by sarajj / 03/29/2013 at 5:36pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

by fucked by sex ed / 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I nervously started a new job, and my co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss. Later, I accidentally bumped into him, and blurted "Rule #7, don't touch George." He definitely heard. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2013 at 12:38am / United States / Work

Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my neighborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML

by couch_potato / 03/28/2013 at 3:53am / Intimacy