MattOnFML

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Offline (the 09/05/2014 at 5:44pm)

MattOnFML

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14748
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About MattOnFML : Just a kid from NY

MattOnFML's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 3:29pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 1:36am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:20pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 8:42pm<b>fk18</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 5:42pm<b>1992yoko</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 5:45pm<b>amulya</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 4:48pm<b>thrlyrist</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 11:24am<b>roselyn_davis</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 11:09am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 1:36am<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 8:03pm<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 12:15pm<b>Dodge4x4Ram</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 5:56pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 11:49am<b>sarcasticlover</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 12:12pm<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 3:37pm<b>heathermartini88</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 1:30am<b>Pwib</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 3:38am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 9:29pm

MattOnFML's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of MattOnFML's badges

MattOnFML's favorite FMLs

Today, I got my girlfriend to play Smash Bros Brawl with me. As it was her first time, I set up handicaps to give her at least a shot at winning. She won, quite handily. A little irritated at this, I took off the handicaps and tried again. She beat me even faster. FML

by Loser / 08/21/2013 at 11:17am / United States / Geek

Today, when I got back to my dorm, I found a trail of ants trying to shove a dead roach into a power outlet. The front desk insists that there is no pest problem. FML

by TheRoad42 / 08/20/2013 at 8:54am / United States (Louisiana) / Animals

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2013 at 4:38am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Transportation

Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML

by bluerhhajfk / 08/19/2013 at 7:29pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML

by xxSecretAngelxx / 08/19/2013 at 2:35pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that apparently I'm in Miami. I am also enjoying a five-star hotel and all of its services. Only one problem: I'm still here, stuck in a small suburban town. F*ck identity theft. FML

by iwannagotomiamitoo / 08/19/2013 at 12:30am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister had an emotional breakdown because two guys love her and she can't pick just one. Meanwhile I'm single and spend my time laying treats on my floor in a pattern and watching my rabbit run in circles. FML

by Having a pretty sister sucks. / 08/18/2013 at 9:36pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I got fired from my job at an age care facility because I was too nice to my residents. My boss told me "They're deaf, blind and about to jump head first into the grave. We don't pay you to be kind." FML

by sweet23 / 08/18/2013 at 7:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I found out yet another of my guy friends liked me. I posted that I just wanted a guy friend that had absolutely no romantic feelings for me. My crush volunteered. FML

by fail / 08/18/2013 at 12:41am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching TV with my boyfriend, when a weird wart-removal ad came on. He watched in disgust as the lady's wart said rude things to her. Then he looked at me and said seriously, "I'm glad yours don't talk..." FML

by WartCream / 08/17/2013 at 8:27pm / United States (Kansas) / Love

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

by fsfs / 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

by ggabrams / 08/17/2013 at 8:55am / United States (Hawaii) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML

by that's methed up, darling / 08/16/2013 at 5:33pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read: "My mom's a total pedo." and after she mentioned the talk, her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2013 at 5:05pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I received a text saying, "I don't think we should be friends anymore. You're terribly depressing and you make everyone unhappy" followed by, "Oops, wrong person!" and then by, "Sorry, it really is for you". FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2013 at 12:24am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous