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MattOnFML

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MattOnFML
  • Town/Country : NY, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1764
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About MattOnFML : Just a kid from NY

MattOnFML's last visitors

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MattOnFML's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of MattOnFML's badges

MattOnFML's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got the guts to walk out of class 30 min. early only to find that the back door was locked. As I stood there like an idiot trying to get it open, all 200 people in my class turned to laugh. My professor stared at me. I then walked back to my seat sat down and unpacked. FML

#6154
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6174) - you deserved it (23454)

On 02/03/2009 at 10:25am - misc - by baller12 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was refilling some guy's iced tea at bandana's, and the uppity jerk had the gall to ask me if I ever kissed a girl considering how fat I am, how high my voice is, and how little money I make. FML

#4601
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25837) - you deserved it (2715)

On 02/01/2009 at 9:41am - work - by sportskidguru - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML

#4463
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54707) - you deserved it (2321)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Jack - United Kingdom (London)

Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML

#4336
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8779) - you deserved it (30508)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Huge A Hole - United States (Kansas)

Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead." FML

#3898
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20034) - you deserved it (913)

On 01/30/2009 at 8:34pm - misc - by crakbbyaparently - United States (California)

Today, I am studying abroad in Mexico and someone asked me what it's like to be from Minnesota. I responded in Spanish, in front of thirty people, what I thought translated to, "If you get cold, you can just put on a jacket." Apparently, what I thought meant "jacket" actually meant "masturbate". FML

#2562
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11994) - you deserved it (3106)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Sally - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I sent a text message to this girl I've been flirting with for a while now saying "How about coffee?". To which she answered "Great idea, I'll go and make myself one right now". FML

#705
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16638) - you deserved it (2260)

On 01/05/2009 at 1:16am - love - by Charly - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went onto my computer and found a cyber sex conversation between my sister and my girlfriend. FML

#768
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28218) - you deserved it (2097)

On 12/31/2008 at 10:49pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, feeling romantic and overwhelmed with love, I told my fiancée: "I don't know what I'd do without you." She replied: "Well, you'd wank". FML

#591
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19813) - you deserved it (5019)

On 12/25/2008 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Nicos - Sent from mobile version

Today, I wanted to see if the frying pan was hot. I no longer have fingerprints. FML

#518
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6270) - you deserved it (46074)

On 12/15/2008 at 12:36am - misc - by bip - Sent from mobile version

Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML

#513
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20947) - you deserved it (5602)

On 12/14/2008 at 8:14am - intimacy - by james - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I should have given my first concert in front of a crowded audience. As we were about to go on stage my band decided to roll a joint outside. The cops just happened to pass by and now I'm on my own. FML

#360
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19263) - you deserved it (2953)

On 11/21/2008 at 11:42pm - work - by christous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML

#337
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38506) - you deserved it (3747)

On 11/18/2008 at 11:58pm - intimacy - by Gwayhir - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss said to me: 'You know, our competitors are also hiring!' FML

#295
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19830) - you deserved it (1760)

On 11/13/2008 at 3:42am - work - by Lopez - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML

#8
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (266346) - you deserved it (23305)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:20am - misc - by mehdi -



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