MattOnFML

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Offline (the 09/05/2014 at 5:44pm)

MattOnFML

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12227
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About MattOnFML : Just a kid from NY

MattOnFML's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 3:29pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 1:36am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:20pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 8:42pm<b>fk18</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 5:42pm<b>1992yoko</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 5:45pm<b>amulya</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 4:48pm<b>thrlyrist</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 11:24am<b>roselyn_davis</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 11:09am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 1:36am<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 8:03pm<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 12:15pm<b>Dodge4x4Ram</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 5:56pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 11:49am<b>sarcasticlover</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 12:12pm<b>Taytochill23</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 3:37pm<b>heathermartini88</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 1:30am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 12:12pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 9:29pm

MattOnFML's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of MattOnFML's badges

MattOnFML's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got the guts to walk out of class 30 min. early only to find that the back door was locked. As I stood there like an idiot trying to get it open, all 200 people in my class turned to laugh. My professor stared at me. I then walked back to my seat sat down and unpacked. FML

by baller12 / 02/03/2009 at 10:25am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was refilling some guy's iced tea at bandana's, and the uppity jerk had the gall to ask me if I ever kissed a girl considering how fat I am, how high my voice is, and how little money I make. FML

by sportskidguru / 02/01/2009 at 9:41am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML

by Jack / 02/01/2009 at 3:54am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML

by Huge A Hole / 02/01/2009 at 12:22am / United States (Kansas) / Love

Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead." FML

by crakbbyaparently / 01/30/2009 at 8:34pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I am studying abroad in Mexico and someone asked me what it's like to be from Minnesota. I responded in Spanish, in front of thirty people, what I thought translated to, "If you get cold, you can just put on a jacket." Apparently, what I thought meant "jacket" actually meant "masturbate". FML

by Sally / 01/25/2009 at 7:06pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent a text message to this girl I've been flirting with for a while now saying "How about coffee?". To which she answered "Great idea, I'll go and make myself one right now". FML

by Charly / 01/05/2009 at 1:16am / Love

Today, I went onto my computer and found a cyber sex conversation between my sister and my girlfriend. FML

Today, feeling romantic and overwhelmed with love, I told my fiancée: "I don't know what I'd do without you." She replied: "Well, you'd wank". FML

by Nicos / 12/25/2008 at 1:07am / Intimacy

Today, I wanted to see if the frying pan was hot. I no longer have fingerprints. FML

Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML

by james / 12/14/2008 at 8:14am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I should have given my first concert in front of a crowded audience. As we were about to go on stage my band decided to roll a joint outside. The cops just happened to pass by and now I'm on my own. FML

by christous / 11/21/2008 at 11:42pm / Work

Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML

by Gwayhir / 11/18/2008 at 11:58pm / Intimacy

Today, my boss said to me: 'You know, our competitors are also hiring!' FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2008 at 3:42am / Work

Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML

by mehdi / 10/13/2008 at 4:20am / Miscellaneous