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MattOnFML

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MattOnFML
  • Town/Country : NY, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1771
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About MattOnFML : Just a kid from NY

MattOnFML's last visitors

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MattOnFML's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of MattOnFML's badges

MattOnFML's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

#20928358
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38089) - you deserved it (2670)

On 10/20/2013 at 11:51pm - kids - by momaaa1342 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was mugged in a public bathroom. All I had on me was a plastic sheriff's badge, so I gave it to them. They laughed me out of the restroom. FML

#20928153
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32623) - you deserved it (3082)

On 10/20/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by the_lameo_geek (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML

#20927261
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54073) - you deserved it (3405)

On 10/20/2013 at 9:02am - intimacy - by Female_Lucifer (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my job application got denied once again. I looked over it, and saw that my roommate added "screwing over customers" and "hiding dead bodies" under my skills. FML

#20927127
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41097) - you deserved it (6128)

On 10/20/2013 at 2:21am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my brother sent me an image by Skype, saying I really had to see it. I figured it was some kind of stupid joke, but I tried to look anyway. It wouldn't open. Turns out he thought he could just rename the ".exe" on a virus to ".jpg" and it would still run. My brother's a cretin. FML

#20926554
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35826) - you deserved it (3324)

On 10/19/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

#20926483
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40367) - you deserved it (4101)

On 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by overly nationalistic redneck (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

#20925456
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36172) - you deserved it (2867)

On 10/18/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by DocBastard, meet DocCunt (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25765) - you deserved it (37125)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

#20925128
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63454) - you deserved it (2634)

On 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I found out my handwriting is so bad that people think I write in Arabic. FML

#20922701
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40598) - you deserved it (9143)

On 10/16/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML

#20921768
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44757) - you deserved it (4456)

On 10/15/2013 at 5:43pm - misc - by secretsmakefriends (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I called my dad to let him know some details for my wedding had changed. It would have been really nice if he had paused the porno I could clearly hear in the background. FML

#20921288
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41043) - you deserved it (2764)

On 10/15/2013 at 6:10am - intimacy - by hes (woman) - United States

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

#20919376
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51062) - you deserved it (3197)

On 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by mustabeendrugs (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my mom made fun of me because I'm 16 and have never had a boyfriend, then bragged that at my age she was already pregnant with me. FML

#20918137
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52544) - you deserved it (2758)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:59pm - misc - by roundtherose - United States (Alaska)

Today, I went home after work with my best friend who I am also secretly in love with. We had a few drinks, were getting touchy, and one thing led to another. Before leaving, I got the courage to ask her out on a real date. Her only reply was, "I don't want to lose such a good friend." FML



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