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MaryJo96

Offline (the 02/15/2015 at 5:18am) | Search for a member

MaryJo96

1Fucked!

MaryJo96MaryJo96
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3468
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About MaryJo96 : My name is Mary Jo, I'm 18, and I live in South Carolina and don't plan on ever leaving! I am strong in my Christian faith, and am currently enrolled in a university pursuing a career as an artist with a business minor :) Message me if you wanna talk! :)

MaryJo96's page activity

Visits<b>Dinderdon</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 5:37pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 10:55pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 8:09am<b>morondon000</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 12:09pm<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 4:47pm<b>randomnutter</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 3:44pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 10:20pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 10:47am<b>SirRipsABong420</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 10:12am<b>braver7315</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 7:06am<b>roza_and_dimka</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:05am<b>lolol123</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 8:52am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 6:04am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 3:27pm<b>HunterHimself</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:26pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 3:11pm<b>ayyy_bro</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 10:54pm<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 4:05am

Fucked!<b>Edogg215</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 4:47pm

MaryJo96's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of MaryJo96's badges

MaryJo96's favorite FMLs

Today, like every day, I woke up at 3 in the morning because my roommate needs "a three hour warning" before his real alarm goes off. His alarm is a constant beeping noise which he always ignores for a good 10 minutes before finally getting up and turning it off. FML

#21338310
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28738) - you deserved it (2582)

On 01/16/2015 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML

#21318970
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31845) - you deserved it (2849)

On 12/17/2014 at 2:35am - love - by monster in law. - United States

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39127) - you deserved it (4005)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML

#21211315
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40642) - you deserved it (4403)

On 07/16/2014 at 10:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62672) - you deserved it (8920)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my neighbor threatened to call the cops if I didn't turn the volume down on my porno. I was only watching women's tennis. FML

#21157299
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44493) - you deserved it (5021)

On 05/30/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Mem (woman) - Sweden (Gavleborgs Lan)

Today, trying to be nice, I added this really shy kid from my English class on Facebook. Within minutes, he started going through all my pictures and tagging himself as my breasts. FML

#21142867
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48014) - you deserved it (9324)

On 05/17/2014 at 12:54pm - misc - by creepyyy (woman) - United States

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50912) - you deserved it (17136)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I spent an hour explaining to a college student how you could have a baby and not be married. He still doesn't get it. FML

#21131094
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43072) - you deserved it (4355)

On 05/05/2014 at 1:07am - misc - by melmel (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I read that egg whites make a good hair treatment. Everything was going fine until, without thinking, I turned the hot water on to wash it out. I'm still picking the cooked egg out of my hair. FML

#21129302
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25370) - you deserved it (33383)

On 05/03/2014 at 12:57am - misc - by EggHead - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She showed up drunk, grabbed my boobs, and asked if I'd ever had a lesbian experience. We both have husbands and kids; the kids were in the room. FML

#21109873
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52677) - you deserved it (5229)

On 04/10/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by freakedout (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a long poem that ended with, "Please don't get another mister / I regret I screwed your sister". FML

#21014860
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51182) - you deserved it (4198)

On 01/02/2014 at 10:50pm - love - by notakeeper - United States (Florida)

Today, I went on a first date. He left me standing at a bus stop while he took a dump in some bushes. FML

#20922179
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48245) - you deserved it (4379)

On 10/15/2013 at 11:10pm - love - by highlydisgusted - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom made fun of me because I'm 16 and have never had a boyfriend, then bragged that at my age she was already pregnant with me. FML

#20918137
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56897) - you deserved it (3316)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:59pm - misc - by roundtherose - United States (Alaska)

Today, I put scribbles, lines, shapes and random words on my calendar just to make it seem like I was busy. This isn't the first time. FML

#20867690
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29514) - you deserved it (8056)

On 09/04/2013 at 5:07pm - misc - by cherbear1000 - United States (Pennsylvania)



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