About MaryJo96 : My name is Mary Jo, I'm 18, and I live in South Carolina and don't plan on ever leaving! I am strong in my Christian faith, and am currently enrolled in a university pursuing a career as an artist with a business minor :) Message me if you wanna talk! :)
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MaryJo96's favorite FMLs
Today, like every day, I woke up at 3 in the morning because my roommate needs "a three hour warning" before his real alarm goes off. His alarm is a constant beeping noise which he always ignores for a good 10 minutes before finally getting up and turning it off. FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2015 at 1:51pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous
by monster in law. / 12/17/2014 at 2:35am / United States / Love
Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML
by terdberglerforlyfe / 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Kids
Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML
by Anonymous / 07/16/2014 at 10:49pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by possibly fucked / 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Intimacy
by Mem / 05/30/2014 at 4:07pm / Sweden (Gavleborgs Lan) / Miscellaneous
by creepyyy / 05/17/2014 at 12:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML
by Anonymous / 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals
by melmel / 05/05/2014 at 1:07am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I read that egg whites make a good hair treatment. Everything was going fine until, without thinking, I turned the hot water on to wash it out. I'm still picking the cooked egg out of my hair. FML
by EggHead / 05/03/2014 at 12:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She showed up drunk, grabbed my boobs, and asked if I'd ever had a lesbian experience. We both have husbands and kids; the kids were in the room. FML
by freakedout / 04/10/2014 at 10:32pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by notakeeper / 01/02/2014 at 10:50pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by highlydisgusted / 10/15/2013 at 11:10pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by roundtherose / 10/12/2013 at 9:59pm / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous
by cherbear1000 / 09/04/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…