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Martinez0285

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Martinez0285

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Martinez0285Martinez0285
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 February 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3601
  • Number of comments : 139
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Martinez0285 : I'm Batman..... Shhhhhhhh

Martinez0285's page activity

Visits<b>_delaneybear</b> - yesterday at 12:52pm<b>bunnylady08</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 12:44pm<b>xninix</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 10:47pm<b>GrimReefer66</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 5:16pm<b>IndicaPaincakes</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:53pm<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 9:26pm<b>ohioain</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 3:46am<b>denaeb123</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 12:08am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 7:16pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 3:08pm<b>rutalking2me</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 9:37pm<b>niccoled</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 8:11pm<b>SpeedToast</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 8:03am<b>feckmelife</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 8:47am<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 5:31am<b>emmatheamazingx</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 4:54pm<b>arasx0</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 4:29pm<b>annapanda143</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:57pm

Liked!<b>denaeb123</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 6:08am<b>xninix</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 8:20am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 7:15am<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 4:59am<b>sophie_doll</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 8:52pm<b>annapanda143</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 3:57pm<b>_delaneybear</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 12:53am<b>RadicalK</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:44am<b>madi113</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 4:26am<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 4:36pm

Martinez0285's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Martinez0285's badges

Martinez0285's favorite FMLs

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33553) - you deserved it (4210)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom took me to dinner. She told me about an argument that she and her boyfriend had, and she showed me the texts. While reading, I learned that she smells his dick before sucking it. FML

#19814133
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29784) - you deserved it (2738)

On 06/19/2012 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by lisahb - United States (Michigan)

Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML

#19761420
391 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17694) - you deserved it (58469)

On 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by k - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)

Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML

#19643337
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11475) - you deserved it (30841)

On 05/18/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by iris (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML

#19643337
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11475) - you deserved it (30841)

On 05/18/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by iris (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML

#19618137
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8715) - you deserved it (32228)

On 05/13/2012 at 6:30pm - misc - by smh (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
598 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24337) - you deserved it (54702)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

#18967800
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57163) - you deserved it (4403)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

#18967800
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57163) - you deserved it (4403)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

#18954927
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31046) - you deserved it (4982)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States

Today, I didn't have plans on shaving my pubic hair. My girlfriend's braces thought otherwise. FML

#18899300
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18301) - you deserved it (36328)

On 01/24/2012 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML

#18860865
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35972) - you deserved it (10175)

On 01/20/2012 at 10:15am - misc - by LonerCow (woman) - United States

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

#18355284
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32108) - you deserved it (15816)

On 11/26/2011 at 10:09am - intimacy - by hitintheeye - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son got really high and shaved the dog with my electric shaver. Not only does the dog look really bad, I didn't know my son used drugs. I now have to buy the dog a sweater and get my son some help. FML

#18078195
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31063) - you deserved it (4935)

On 10/26/2011 at 1:43am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my wife got so upset I didn't hold her while Snooki from Jersey Shore was crying, that after the episode was done she locked herself in our room crying. Now I have to sleep on the floor of my living room. Thanks Snooki. FML

#17810986
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36687) - you deserved it (7866)

On 09/23/2011 at 2:22am - love - by drastech99 - United States (California)



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