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Martinez0285

Offline (the 07/25/2015 at 11:25pm) | Search for a member

Martinez0285

31Fucked!

Martinez0285Martinez0285
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 February 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4723
  • Number of comments : 141
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Martinez0285 : I'm Batman..... Shhhhhhhh

https://www.youtube.com/user/x1xBatmanuelx1x

Martinez0285's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 8:18am<b>RandomUsername88</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:52pm<b>_ansley_2013</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 9:38pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 12:44pm<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 8:10pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 11:31am<b>Mons</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 8:26pm<b>kevinivek</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 2:16pm<b>carl_carl_</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 2:12pm<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 11:05am<b>MrsJellyBean</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 12:43am<b>Kataclysm97</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 2:20pm<b>babeybazooka</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 1:59pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 5:24pm<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 3:37pm<b>belindailene</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 6:51am<b>MelodySackett123</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 11:09am<b>rocketiquette</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 10:56pm

Fucked!<b>_ansley_2013</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:38am<b>MrsJellyBean</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 6:44am<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 9:21pm<b>Kataclysm97</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 8:20pm<b>babeybazooka</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 7:59pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:25pm<b>niightmares</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 4:08am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 1:03am<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 10:16pm<b>longlivelife</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 10:41pm<b>SteamyPenguin</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 4:55pm<b>delilablue95</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 10:05am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 2:21am<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:11pm<b>kyliefoote</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 10:29am<b>amandalynn84</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 4:50am<b>suszyy</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 4:52am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 12:05pm

Martinez0285's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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See all of Martinez0285's badges

Martinez0285's favorite FMLs

Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my neighborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML

#20563419
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41148) - you deserved it (23361)

On 03/28/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by couch_potato (man) -

Today, my dad came out of jail. He showed me his tattoo of a bible on his chest with all his 13 kids' names on it. I'm the only one whose name is spelled wrong. FML

#20554618
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35716) - you deserved it (2662)

On 03/22/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by XoxoChula - United States

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49814) - you deserved it (24569)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

#20518830
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26999) - you deserved it (45101)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the n-word. FML

#20507523
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41013) - you deserved it (8670)

On 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had an in-depth conversation at work about how technically Luke Skywalker was never a Jedi Master. Highlight of my working day. FML

#20497564
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22013) - you deserved it (5418)

On 02/07/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by djxerxes9000 - Canada

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

#20488428
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38687) - you deserved it (2178)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

#20201491
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41937) - you deserved it (2581)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML

#20162265
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7164) - you deserved it (26543)

On 11/13/2012 at 8:03pm - misc - by scaredinnyc - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML

#20160279
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33650) - you deserved it (6086)

On 11/12/2012 at 10:10am - health - by poserpilot - United States (California)

Today, multiple people admired my elaborate face paint. This happens every Halloween, at least every Halloween since I got badly burnt in a car accident. FML

#20142623
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45677) - you deserved it (1832)

On 11/01/2012 at 7:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull, City of)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35583) - you deserved it (3670)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML

#20106351
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37571) - you deserved it (12474)

On 10/07/2012 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by Unfortunate (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33422) - you deserved it (2557)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



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