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Martinez0285

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Martinez0285

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Martinez0285Martinez0285
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 February 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3621
  • Number of comments : 139
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Martinez0285 : I'm Batman..... Shhhhhhhh

Martinez0285's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - 20 hours ago<b>ZoeeeGuyss</b> - yesterday at 9:40am<b>GrimReefer66</b> - yesterday at 8:23pm<b>_delaneybear</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 12:52pm<b>bunnylady08</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 12:44pm<b>xninix</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 10:47pm<b>IndicaPaincakes</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:53pm<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 9:26pm<b>ohioain</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 3:46am<b>denaeb123</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 12:08am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 7:16pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 3:08pm<b>rutalking2me</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 9:37pm<b>niccoled</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 8:11pm<b>SpeedToast</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 8:03am<b>feckmelife</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 8:47am<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 5:31am<b>emmatheamazingx</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 4:54pm

Liked!<b>denaeb123</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 6:08am<b>xninix</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 8:20am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 7:15am<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 4:59am<b>sophie_doll</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 8:52pm<b>annapanda143</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 3:57pm<b>_delaneybear</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 12:53am<b>RadicalK</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:44am<b>madi113</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 4:26am<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 4:36pm

Martinez0285's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Martinez0285's badges

Martinez0285's favorite FMLs

Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML

#20676306
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41148) - you deserved it (2585)

On 05/20/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by hotelbound - United States (Missouri)

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

#20673142
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50059) - you deserved it (7011)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML

#20670515
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51507) - you deserved it (19629)

On 05/18/2013 at 8:54am - intimacy - by lez probs - United States

Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML

#20666690
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51587) - you deserved it (4957)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by violatedbuttcrack - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

#20665284
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63504) - you deserved it (4141)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 7 years with another woman. He panicked and blamed it on the "long distance" and how we "never see each other". We've lived in the same neighbourhood since we were 5 years old, and we've lived together for the past four years. FML

#20649796
117 comments

Today, I was leaving my doctor's appointment when a nurse stopped me. She exclaimed, "Wow you are so skinny! What's your secret?" My secret? Having an autoimmune disease. FML

Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML

#20621620
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41202) - you deserved it (5545)

On 04/25/2013 at 8:11pm - animals - by emma_waters23 - United States (California)

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his weird attitude, he responded with, "This isn't working; I'm in love with my sister." FML

#20592364
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66177) - you deserved it (4042)

On 04/14/2013 at 11:45pm - love - by lonely (woman) - United States

Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML

#20584680
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44691) - you deserved it (8402)

On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got dumped during sex. FML

#20563466
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67434) - you deserved it (9192)

On 03/28/2013 at 6:02am - intimacy - by Bigfatfailure (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my neighborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML

#20563419
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41024) - you deserved it (23319)

On 03/28/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by couch_potato (man) -

Today, my dad came out of jail. He showed me his tattoo of a bible on his chest with all his 13 kids' names on it. I'm the only one whose name is spelled wrong. FML

#20554618
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35587) - you deserved it (2650)

On 03/22/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by XoxoChula - United States

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49667) - you deserved it (24515)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML

#20518830
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26349) - you deserved it (44320)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)



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