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Martinez0285

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Martinez0285

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Martinez0285Martinez0285
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 February 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3668
  • Number of comments : 139
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Martinez0285 : I'm Batman..... Shhhhhhhh

Martinez0285's page activity

Visits<b>MDoremis</b> - 5 hours ago<b>madi113</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 4:00pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 4:12pm<b>ZoeeeGuyss</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 9:40am<b>GrimReefer66</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 8:23pm<b>_delaneybear</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 12:52pm<b>bunnylady08</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 12:44pm<b>xninix</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 10:47pm<b>IndicaPaincakes</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:53pm<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 9:26pm<b>ohioain</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 3:46am<b>denaeb123</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 12:08am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 7:16pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 3:08pm<b>rutalking2me</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 9:37pm<b>niccoled</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 8:11pm<b>SpeedToast</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 8:03am<b>feckmelife</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 8:47am

Liked!<b>denaeb123</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 6:08am<b>xninix</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 8:20am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 7:15am<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 4:59am<b>sophie_doll</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 8:52pm<b>annapanda143</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 3:57pm<b>_delaneybear</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 12:53am<b>RadicalK</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:44am<b>madi113</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 4:26am<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 4:36pm

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Martinez0285's favorite FMLs

Today, I had an allergy test. Not only was I allergic to 35 out of the 40 items, they also found out that I'm allergic to the latex gloves my doctor happened to be wearing. Now my entire back is covered in a rash that will last at least another week. FML

#20783362
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47693) - you deserved it (2874)

On 07/15/2013 at 12:23am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML

#20782878
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37094) - you deserved it (4727)

On 07/14/2013 at 9:07pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100145) - you deserved it (11681)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I made two cakes. One for my boyfriend's birthday tomorrow, the other for my family so they wouldn't eat the birthday cake. I came home to find they ate half of each. FML

Today, I poured my heart out to my now ex-girlfriend over the recent passing away of my grandmother. Her eyes glazed over multiple times, and when I said that I don't know how to cope with everything, her advice was simply, "Shotgun. Mouth. Blam." FML

#20766944
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50797) - you deserved it (4766)

On 07/06/2013 at 12:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis)

Today, I lost my car keys, so I asked my ex-husband if he still had his spare to my car. He said he'd send it. I got an empty envelope with a troll face on it. There's a reason I left him. FML

#20738006
120 comments

Today, at my job at my tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay for his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happens to be my boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML

#20735377
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49577) - you deserved it (3673)

On 06/19/2013 at 2:46pm - work - by notkatvond (woman) - United States

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73207) - you deserved it (7235)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML

#20722030
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48048) - you deserved it (10803)

On 06/12/2013 at 5:45pm - misc - by MsGlaDos - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend lost his temper with me and complained that my "constant" apologies for upsetting him drive him insane, and without thinking, I said I was sorry. He hung up and I haven't heard from him since. FML

#20705829
173 comments

Today, I received a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy called "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML

#20703997
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46832) - you deserved it (3382)

On 06/03/2013 at 7:13pm - misc - by fuck wannabe knowitalls (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of two years, whom I supported through the death of his father, and whose invalid mother I also took care of, suddenly dumped me. The fact that I've put on a little weight due to recent stress disgusts him, and he "can't date a chubster". FML

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

#20692661
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64961) - you deserved it (14341)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML

#20691094
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26425) - you deserved it (133109)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I finally scored a goal in a soccer game. Too bad it was in our own net. FML

#20681164
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28312) - you deserved it (35693)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)



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