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Martinez0285

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Martinez0285

57Fucked!

Martinez0285Martinez0285
  • Town/Country : Houston, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 February 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5490
  • Number of comments : 141
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Martinez0285 : I'm Batman..... Shhhhhhhh

https://www.youtube.com/user/x1xBatmanuelx1x

Martinez0285's page activity

Visits<b>lulumars</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:20pm<b>_itsbridgett</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 11:55am<b>CarmenCnh</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 1:04pm<b>ToxicLover29</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 1:38am<b>James64138</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 12:09pm<b>xargling</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 11:28am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 11:45am<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 12:28am<b>awishadahbau5</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 11:31pm<b>lil_c_03</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 10:55pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 10:54pm<b>sophie_doll</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 2:09pm<b>rookworst</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 2:05pm<b>morganfaye9</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 9:53pm<b>michelle42</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 8:01pm<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 9:50pm<b>murr52727</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 9:14pm<b>elohnah</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 5:06pm

Fucked!<b>_itsbridgett</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:55pm<b>James64138</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 6:10pm<b>rookworst</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 8:04pm<b>michelle42</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 2:01am<b>WillowB47</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 1:15am<b>bbackensto</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 3:57pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 9:30pm<b>Anais457</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 4:37pm<b>Threnody666</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 4:40am<b>Prerogative</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 6:05pm<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 2:54pm<b>NotNeeded</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 6:44am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 8:54am<b>BellaSweeto</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 7:19pm<b>kandysnow</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 9:56am<b>amileah13</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 4:52am<b>bhopejohnston</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 4:30am<b>kylie31</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 3:19am

Martinez0285's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of Martinez0285's badges

Martinez0285's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via Snapchat. FML

#20891755
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46473) - you deserved it (4028)

On 09/22/2013 at 4:41pm - misc - by mish (woman) - United Kingdom (Herefordshire)

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

#20876988
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53279) - you deserved it (4281)

On 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm - animals - by ugh Buck! (woman) - United States

Today, I noticed that my car's passenger-side door has cobwebs all over it. FML

#20876882
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45017) - you deserved it (6934)

On 09/11/2013 at 10:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML

#20874035
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53210) - you deserved it (5772)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:15am - intimacy - by merpaderp14 (woman) - Canada

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through my birthday card. FML

#20871364
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65241) - you deserved it (3846)

On 09/07/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by brycepetrillo - United States (Florida)

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

#20870528
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55078) - you deserved it (19868)

On 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42289) - you deserved it (3140)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

#20857818
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53944) - you deserved it (9981)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I bought a cat. Somehow that cat is now stuck inside my antique piano. I have to break the piano to get her out. FML

Today, I was eating with my grandma and her sister, who don't get along. I went to the bathroom for just 2 minutes, only to come back to find pancakes everywhere and our plates smashed on the ground. They got into a "little argument". FML

#20835313
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42467) - you deserved it (3314)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

#20835170
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51740) - you deserved it (4104) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/13/2013 at 4:49am - kids - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I enlisted in the military. My dad now finds it necessary to act like a drill sergeant. This includes yelling at me everywhere we go to prepare me for basic training. Training begins in four months. FML

#20830066
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45016) - you deserved it (6685)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

#20826932
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60048) - you deserved it (16811)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:10am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Latvia (Jelgavas)

Today, it was my first day at my new job. I had to break up two fistfights, then leave work early with a black eye. This is not what I had in mind when I applied to work at a retirement home. FML

#20820605
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51537) - you deserved it (3745)

On 08/04/2013 at 4:51pm - work - by x_o (man) - Hungary (Gyor-Moson-Sopron)

Today, while using a restroom in Walmart, an old lady with a cane hobbled in screaming, "I smell someone making sin!" She would not stop tapping on the door with her cane till I came out. FML

#20808725
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45017) - you deserved it (3052)

On 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm - health - by DreamStatic - United States (Georgia)



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