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Martinez0285

Offline (the 07/25/2015 at 11:25pm) | Search for a member

Martinez0285

32Fucked!

Martinez0285Martinez0285
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 February 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4857
  • Number of comments : 141
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Martinez0285 : I'm Batman..... Shhhhhhhh

https://www.youtube.com/user/x1xBatmanuelx1x

Martinez0285's page activity

Visits<b>murr52727</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 12:58am<b>CarmenCnh</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 6:59pm<b>babeybazooka</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 6:47pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 10:14pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 8:18am<b>RandomUsername88</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:52pm<b>_ansley_2013</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 9:38pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 12:44pm<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 8:10pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 11:31am<b>Mons</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 8:26pm<b>kevinivek</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 2:16pm<b>carl_carl_</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 2:12pm<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 11:05am<b>MrsJellyBean</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 12:43am<b>Kataclysm97</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 2:20pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 5:24pm<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 3:37pm

Fucked!<b>CarmenCnh</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 12:59am<b>_ansley_2013</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:38am<b>MrsJellyBean</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 6:44am<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 9:21pm<b>Kataclysm97</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 8:20pm<b>babeybazooka</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 7:59pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:25pm<b>niightmares</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 4:08am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 1:03am<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 10:16pm<b>longlivelife</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 10:41pm<b>SteamyPenguin</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 4:55pm<b>delilablue95</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 10:05am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 2:21am<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:11pm<b>kyliefoote</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 10:29am<b>amandalynn84</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 4:50am<b>suszyy</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 4:52am

Martinez0285's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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See all of Martinez0285's badges

Martinez0285's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed that my car's passenger-side door has cobwebs all over it. FML

#20876882
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44221) - you deserved it (6834)

On 09/11/2013 at 10:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML

#20874035
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49578) - you deserved it (5385)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:15am - intimacy - by merpaderp14 (woman) - Canada

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through my birthday card. FML

#20871364
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63132) - you deserved it (3709)

On 09/07/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by brycepetrillo - United States (Florida)

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

#20870528
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54277) - you deserved it (19635)

On 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41272) - you deserved it (3064)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

#20857818
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53020) - you deserved it (9839)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I bought a cat. Somehow that cat is now stuck inside my antique piano. I have to break the piano to get her out. FML

Today, I was eating with my grandma and her sister, who don't get along. I went to the bathroom for just 2 minutes, only to come back to find pancakes everywhere and our plates smashed on the ground. They got into a "little argument". FML

#20835313
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40375) - you deserved it (3160)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

#20835170
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50839) - you deserved it (4032) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/13/2013 at 4:49am - kids - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I enlisted in the military. My dad now finds it necessary to act like a drill sergeant. This includes yelling at me everywhere we go to prepare me for basic training. Training begins in four months. FML

#20830066
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41845) - you deserved it (6312)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

#20826932
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58456) - you deserved it (16439)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:10am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Latvia (Jelgavas)

Today, it was my first day at my new job. I had to break up two fistfights, then leave work early with a black eye. This is not what I had in mind when I applied to work at a retirement home. FML

#20820605
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50694) - you deserved it (3680)

On 08/04/2013 at 4:51pm - work - by x_o (man) - Hungary (Gyor-Moson-Sopron)

Today, while using a restroom in Walmart, an old lady with a cane hobbled in screaming, "I smell someone making sin!" She would not stop tapping on the door with her cane till I came out. FML

#20808725
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44264) - you deserved it (3004)

On 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm - health - by DreamStatic - United States (Georgia)

Today, I returned from a long business trip a day early to surprise my wife. She was sleeping, so I climbed into bed and started spooning her. Thinking I was an intruder, she simultaneously kicked me in the groin, elbowed me in the ribs, and smacked the back of her head into my jaw. FML

#20805942
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45544) - you deserved it (25527)

On 07/27/2013 at 4:03am - love - by good_aim (man) - United States (California)

Today, my doctor told me that I suffer from orgasm migraines. Basically, I get an intense migraine that lasts for hours after I have an orgasm. FML

#20798770
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71722) - you deserved it (4349)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:17am - intimacy - by amanda (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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