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  • Town/Country : Houston, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 February 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6556
  • Number of comments : 141
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Martinez0285 : I'm Batman..... Shhhhhhhh

Martinez0285's page activity

Visits<b>BryantStone</b> - the 10/21/2016 at 4:41pm<b>brianna_lois</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 4:09pm<b>hewbzy</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 2:17pm<b>Mylehz</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 7:48pm<b>Aniki_Sohma</b> - the 09/01/2016 at 4:06pm<b>awishadahbau5</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 2:25am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 12:42am<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 1:00pm<b>slapstick1982</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 9:52am<b>Myeyesbleed</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 7:17am<b>Teyros</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 7:27pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 2:23pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 2:54pm<b>2simz</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 3:38am<b>gkmd98</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 7:27pm<b>dakotadavisbruh</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 1:41pm<b>Blue_oreo</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 8:04pm<b>Mons</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 5:49am

Fucked!<b>melisssa87</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 1:02am<b>KcChaos26</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 4:57am<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 8:07pm<b>classicate</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 6:31pm<b>justgotosleep</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 5:45pm<b>hennessy89</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 3:45am<b>ugalde976</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 9:45am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 4:03pm<b>_itsbridgett</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:55pm<b>James64138</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 6:10pm<b>rookworst</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 8:04pm<b>michelle42</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 2:01am<b>WillowB47</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 1:15am<b>bbackensto</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 3:57pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 9:30pm<b>Anais457</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 4:37pm<b>Threnody666</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 4:40am<b>Prerogative</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 6:05pm

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Martinez0285's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my brother is adamant that if he records silence, then listens to said silence at full volume, it'll improve the headphones' noise-blocking abilities. I live with a complete idiot. FML

by Eggs6131 / 10/15/2013 at 9:09am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via Snapchat. FML

by mish / 09/22/2013 at 4:41pm / United Kingdom (Herefordshire) / Love

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

by ugh Buck! / 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm / United States / Animals

Today, I noticed that my car's passenger-side door has cobwebs all over it. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 10:16am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML

by merpaderp14 / 09/09/2013 at 2:15am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through my birthday card. FML

by brycepetrillo / 09/07/2013 at 12:08pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

by down trodden / 09/05/2013 at 3:45am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2013 at 12:11pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I bought a cat. Somehow that cat is now stuck inside my antique piano. I have to break the piano to get her out. FML

by outthelabyrynth / 08/27/2013 at 10:46am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was eating with my grandma and her sister, who don't get along. I went to the bathroom for just 2 minutes, only to come back to find pancakes everywhere and our plates smashed on the ground. They got into a "little argument". FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2013 at 12:01pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2013 at 4:49am / Kids

Today, I enlisted in the military. My dad now finds it necessary to act like a drill sergeant. This includes yelling at me everywhere we go to prepare me for basic training. Training begins in four months. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:41am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 7:10am / Latvia (Jelgavas) / Health

Today, it was my first day at my new job. I had to break up two fistfights, then leave work early with a black eye. This is not what I had in mind when I applied to work at a retirement home. FML

by x_o / 08/04/2013 at 4:51pm / Hungary (Gyor-Moson-Sopron) / Work