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Martinez0285

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Martinez0285

57Fucked!

Martinez0285Martinez0285
  • Town/Country : Houston, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 February 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5496
  • Number of comments : 141
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Martinez0285 : I'm Batman..... Shhhhhhhh

https://www.youtube.com/user/x1xBatmanuelx1x

Martinez0285's page activity

Visits<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - 2 hours ago<b>lulumars</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:20pm<b>_itsbridgett</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 11:55am<b>CarmenCnh</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 1:04pm<b>ToxicLover29</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 1:38am<b>James64138</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 12:09pm<b>xargling</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 11:28am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 11:45am<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 12:28am<b>awishadahbau5</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 11:31pm<b>lil_c_03</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 10:55pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 10:54pm<b>sophie_doll</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 2:09pm<b>rookworst</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 2:05pm<b>morganfaye9</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 9:53pm<b>michelle42</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 8:01pm<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 9:50pm<b>murr52727</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 9:14pm

Fucked!<b>_itsbridgett</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:55pm<b>James64138</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 6:10pm<b>rookworst</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 8:04pm<b>michelle42</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 2:01am<b>WillowB47</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 1:15am<b>bbackensto</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 3:57pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 9:30pm<b>Anais457</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 4:37pm<b>Threnody666</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 4:40am<b>Prerogative</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 6:05pm<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 2:54pm<b>NotNeeded</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 6:44am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 8:54am<b>BellaSweeto</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 7:19pm<b>kandysnow</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 9:56am<b>amileah13</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 4:52am<b>bhopejohnston</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 4:30am<b>kylie31</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 3:19am

Martinez0285's FML badges

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You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

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Martinez0285's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife got her period. Every single time, she ends up asking me to go buy her some midol after a few days of trying to tough it out, so I decided to buy her some ahead of time. She reacted by yelling at me for treating her like a child and implying that she couldn't go buy it herself. FML

#21098714
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45115) - you deserved it (4924)

On 03/28/2014 at 5:43pm - love - by unappreciated husband (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50391) - you deserved it (12966)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML

#21070244
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19520) - you deserved it (49996)

On 02/24/2014 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, while at a funeral for a distant family member, I was giving my condolences to the family. When one of them asked how I was doing, I replied with, "I'm still alive!", which is one of my standard responses due to being a cashier and being asked that question a hundred times a day. FML

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44517) - you deserved it (13653)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, in revenge for being grounded for bullying a kid at school, my eight-year-old son flung a handful of Lego in my path as I walked barefoot into the kitchen. I'm still in pain. 5ML

#21038562
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44894) - you deserved it (8770)

On 01/24/2014 at 6:10pm - kids - by limping (man) - Canada

Today, my mum decided that having the flu and being too lazy to go upstairs to the bathroom is a valid excuse to shit in a jug instead. 5ML

#21038402
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43373) - you deserved it (3475)

On 01/24/2014 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML

#21008990
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27619) - you deserved it (56946)

On 12/29/2013 at 2:01am - kids - by ConfusedDad - United States

Today, a DJ friend of mine offered me a part in one of his tracks. I was flattered, and accepted. All I ended up singing was, "I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch" over and over again in the background. FML

#21008243
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41007) - you deserved it (7102) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/28/2013 at 9:46am - misc - by Cacahuete (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

#21001182
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52057) - you deserved it (5159)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

#21001182
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52057) - you deserved it (5159)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got kicked out of my band by the guy who quit two weeks ago. The bad part? Everyone else agreed with him. FML

#20995103
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37184) - you deserved it (4173)

On 12/16/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by dazed and confused - United States (Florida)

Today, my 19-year-old, long-distance boyfriend told me he wouldn't be able to text me all day because it's too hard to type while in his Spider-Man suit. It's non-negotiable. FML

#20940116
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38744) - you deserved it (14831)

On 10/31/2013 at 10:30am - love - by AML (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my brother is adamant that if he records silence, then listens to said silence at full volume, it'll improve the headphones' noise-blocking abilities. I live with a complete idiot. FML



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