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Martinez0285

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Martinez0285

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Martinez0285Martinez0285
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 February 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3630
  • Number of comments : 139
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Martinez0285 : I'm Batman..... Shhhhhhhh

Martinez0285's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 4:12pm<b>ZoeeeGuyss</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 9:40am<b>GrimReefer66</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 8:23pm<b>_delaneybear</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 12:52pm<b>bunnylady08</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 12:44pm<b>xninix</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 10:47pm<b>IndicaPaincakes</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 2:53pm<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 9:26pm<b>ohioain</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 3:46am<b>denaeb123</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 12:08am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 7:16pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 3:08pm<b>rutalking2me</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 9:37pm<b>niccoled</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 8:11pm<b>SpeedToast</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 8:03am<b>feckmelife</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 8:47am<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 5:31am<b>emmatheamazingx</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 4:54pm

Liked!<b>denaeb123</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 6:08am<b>xninix</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 8:20am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 7:15am<b>SquidgyOmAm</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 4:59am<b>sophie_doll</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 8:52pm<b>annapanda143</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 3:57pm<b>_delaneybear</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 12:53am<b>RadicalK</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:44am<b>madi113</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 4:26am<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 4:36pm

Martinez0285's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of Martinez0285's badges

Martinez0285's favorite FMLs

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52453) - you deserved it (11469)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, I entered my late twenties. My hair's falling out and I'm putting on weight at light speed. At least I can keep my youthful appearance with the acne I still suffer from. FML

#21163683
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41076) - you deserved it (4600)

On 06/05/2014 at 7:12am - misc - by hifhfan (man) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I gave up trying to make any friends at my job as a firefighter. I'm the lone female, and am the subject of gossip with the older men. Anyone I try to befriend ends up hitting on me, while others won't even talk to me because their wives are jealous. FML

#21159616
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48968) - you deserved it (5176)

On 06/01/2014 at 5:53pm - work - by anikah (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

#21158120
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45122) - you deserved it (8470)

On 05/31/2014 at 11:05am - love - by wendtinmypants (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

#21137389
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60072) - you deserved it (5140)

On 05/12/2014 at 1:17am - kids - by kids -

Today, my drug addict of a roommate convinced herself my red kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, and hit him over the head with a pan. FML

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

#21114779
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55255) - you deserved it (5709)

On 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by MILF (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was looking at the map on my phone whilst walking down a street. I heard the sound of a bike behind me so I moved to let the cyclist past. He snatched the phone out of my hand and sped off. FML

#21113059
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37988) - you deserved it (4827)

On 04/14/2014 at 7:43pm - misc - by stupidcunt (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML

#21105190
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41621) - you deserved it (12897)

On 04/05/2014 at 1:48pm - work - by =( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to calm my rather gullible boyfriend down and reassure him that the email he got, telling him that he has AIDS, was just a scam. FML

#21098742
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36231) - you deserved it (3961)

On 03/28/2014 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my wife got her period. Every single time, she ends up asking me to go buy her some midol after a few days of trying to tough it out, so I decided to buy her some ahead of time. She reacted by yelling at me for treating her like a child and implying that she couldn't go buy it herself. FML

#21098714
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41599) - you deserved it (4554)

On 03/28/2014 at 5:43pm - love - by unappreciated husband (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48083) - you deserved it (12237)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML

#21070244
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18619) - you deserved it (47544)

On 02/24/2014 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, while at a funeral for a distant family member, I was giving my condolences to the family. When one of them asked how I was doing, I replied with, "I'm still alive!", which is one of my standard responses due to being a cashier and being asked that question a hundred times a day. FML



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