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Martinez0285

Offline (the 07/25/2015 at 11:25pm) | Search for a member

Martinez0285

32Fucked!

Martinez0285Martinez0285
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 February 1985 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4852
  • Number of comments : 141
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Martinez0285 : I'm Batman..... Shhhhhhhh

https://www.youtube.com/user/x1xBatmanuelx1x

Martinez0285's page activity

Visits<b>murr52727</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 12:58am<b>CarmenCnh</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 6:59pm<b>babeybazooka</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 6:47pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 10:14pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 8:18am<b>RandomUsername88</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 12:52pm<b>_ansley_2013</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 9:38pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 12:44pm<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 8:10pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 11:31am<b>Mons</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 8:26pm<b>kevinivek</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 2:16pm<b>carl_carl_</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 2:12pm<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 11:05am<b>MrsJellyBean</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 12:43am<b>Kataclysm97</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 2:20pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 5:24pm<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 3:37pm

Fucked!<b>CarmenCnh</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 12:59am<b>_ansley_2013</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:38am<b>MrsJellyBean</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 6:44am<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 9:21pm<b>Kataclysm97</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 8:20pm<b>babeybazooka</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 7:59pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:25pm<b>niightmares</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 4:08am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 1:03am<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 10:16pm<b>longlivelife</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 10:41pm<b>SteamyPenguin</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 4:55pm<b>delilablue95</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 10:05am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 2:21am<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:11pm<b>kyliefoote</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 10:29am<b>amandalynn84</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 4:50am<b>suszyy</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 4:52am

Martinez0285's FML badges

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You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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See all of Martinez0285's badges

Martinez0285's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding so stupid that I panicked and quickly sent another saying "SORRY WRONG PERSON". FML

Today, my girlfriend asked me where I've always wanted to settle down, and I told her that Italy had always appealed to me. She snorted and told me what a bad idea that was, because "you don't speak French". FML

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

#21174627
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48455) - you deserved it (24109)

On 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

#21171240
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51846) - you deserved it (7842)

On 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53718) - you deserved it (11766)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, I entered my late twenties. My hair's falling out and I'm putting on weight at light speed. At least I can keep my youthful appearance with the acne I still suffer from. FML

#21163683
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43083) - you deserved it (4841)

On 06/05/2014 at 7:12am - misc - by hifhfan (man) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I gave up trying to make any friends at my job as a firefighter. I'm the lone female, and am the subject of gossip with the older men. Anyone I try to befriend ends up hitting on me, while others won't even talk to me because their wives are jealous. FML

#21159616
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51028) - you deserved it (5362)

On 06/01/2014 at 5:53pm - work - by anikah (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

#21158120
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45292) - you deserved it (8486)

On 05/31/2014 at 11:05am - love - by wendtinmypants (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

#21137389
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60276) - you deserved it (5152)

On 05/12/2014 at 1:17am - kids - by kids -

Today, my drug addict of a roommate convinced herself my red kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, and hit him over the head with a pan. FML

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

#21114779
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55519) - you deserved it (5728)

On 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by MILF (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was looking at the map on my phone whilst walking down a street. I heard the sound of a bike behind me so I moved to let the cyclist past. He snatched the phone out of my hand and sped off. FML

#21113059
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40151) - you deserved it (5097)

On 04/14/2014 at 7:43pm - misc - by stupidcunt (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML

#21105190
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43421) - you deserved it (13500)

On 04/05/2014 at 1:48pm - work - by =( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to calm my rather gullible boyfriend down and reassure him that the email he got, telling him that he has AIDS, was just a scam. FML

#21098742
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38194) - you deserved it (4160)

On 03/28/2014 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my wife got her period. Every single time, she ends up asking me to go buy her some midol after a few days of trying to tough it out, so I decided to buy her some ahead of time. She reacted by yelling at me for treating her like a child and implying that she couldn't go buy it herself. FML

#21098714
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44234) - you deserved it (4858)

On 03/28/2014 at 5:43pm - love - by unappreciated husband (man) - United States (Washington)



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