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Martha97's FML badges
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Martha97's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
by fatmom / 04/10/2013 at 9:26am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Kids
Today, a couple stopped me on the beach to take a picture of them kissing in front of the sunset. I agreed feeling generous, until they continued making out after the picture was taken, leaving me standing there awkwardly with their camera. FML
by unknown / 04/07/2013 at 12:26am / United States (Florida) / Love
by ohgodwhy / 04/06/2013 at 10:15am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by confusedcatlover / 04/06/2013 at 7:42am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 9:32am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 5:17am / United States / Kids
Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up for me. It was going pretty good, then he said he was going to go out to smoke. 10 minutes went by and he still hadn't come back. I called my friend and she said he doesn't smoke. FML
by My Life Is Just PERFECT / 03/30/2013 at 11:29am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
by fucked by sex ed / 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Candycane88 / 03/26/2013 at 10:12am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was late to a lecture when I tripped up the stairs. With a few hundred people already staring and laughing at me, I started to curtsy to my "adoring fans" but instead fell backwards down the massive flight of stairs. FML
by Anonymous / 03/25/2013 at 2:03am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by SierraDiaz2097 / 03/23/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Mississippi) / Love
by Experience / 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML
by Kitten_Love / 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm / Animals
Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML
by teacher / 01/25/2013 at 12:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids