Maria_BVB_Army

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Offline (the 01/07/2015 at 2:21am)

Maria_BVB_Army

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2087
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Maria_BVB_Army : Music is my life

Maria_BVB_Army's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 6:13pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 9:09pm<b>kevinu125</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 4:18am<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 6:37am<b>Devindelon</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 10:21pm<b>NOTaDISTRACTION</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 2:20am<b>carecow</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 5:22am<b>RayvenWhite</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 11:34pm<b>Puffpie</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 9:33pm<b>pratikp03</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 6:07pm<b>Mons</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 4:52am<b>netflixislove</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 10:30am<b>thinblue32</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 12:53am<b>andy594328</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 6:12pm<b>JosephAnders</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 2:13am<b>frostownz33</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 12:39am<b>Ikari_Shinji</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 2:15am<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 2:36pm

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Maria_BVB_Army's favorite FMLs

Today, our band had a road trip. Two people chose to stack themselves on top of each other to share a seat rather than sit in the last seat next to me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2014 at 11:17pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to break up with my psychotic bitch of a girlfriend after months of abuse. When she opened the door, her 5-year-old son ran up to me, smiling and calling me "DADDY!" for the first time. Now I don't have the heart to dump the psycho and devastate her son. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2014 at 12:36pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss' new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML

by anonix / 12/21/2014 at 2:08pm / Canada / Work

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. As things got heated, he broke down crying. I assumed it was just anxiety so I hugged him and told him it's alright and that it didn't matter, we'd try another time. Half an hour later, he confessed that he's actually gay. FML

by gunnerette / 12/21/2014 at 3:30am / Cyprus (Larnaca) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 7-year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of the supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2014 at 5:42pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Kids

Today, I called this girl I've had a crush on for 2 years to confess my love to her. However, as she picked up the phone, I got so nervous that I froze and couldn't say a word. I was standing there, breathing heavily for 20 seconds. She got so freaked out that she threatened to call the police. FML

by LonelyGuy / 12/15/2014 at 6:59am / Australia / Love

Today, I ate at Subway during my lunch hour. A group of teenage girls sat down at the table next to mine. They all shared good laugh about the "friendless, chubby chick" sitting near them, while attempting to discreetly point at me. FML

by endure_survive / 12/14/2014 at 10:17pm / New Zealand (Waikato) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally told my boyfriend that he's not very good at dirty talk. He does it every time we have sex and it always turns me off. He started crying. FML

by Nicole / 12/13/2014 at 10:20am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

by lateralligator / 12/12/2014 at 11:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my daughter's ballet recital, after she was done dancing, grown adults booed. She's five. FML

by anon / 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I asked my teacher how old he was, and jokingly I said, "50?" Then he chuckled, so I laughed and said, "I was kidding… 42, 43, 44?" He then looked at me and said, "Are you trying to guess my age, or your grade percent in this class?" FML

by IHateSchool-.- / 12/11/2014 at 6:13pm / United States / Work

Today, since my finals are starting tomorrow, I made a joke about setting my math books on fire. I laughed. Friends laughed. Parents laughed. Guess what subject just managed to actually get in touch with my scented candles? FML

by not laughing anymore / 12/11/2014 at 2:55pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

by ring-a-ding-ding / 12/06/2014 at 12:18am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, my neighbor showed me footage of my 7-year-old son spraying his beloved rose garden with weed killer. The whole garden is dead as fuck, and I'm now being taken to small claims court. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2014 at 8:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML

by WTF / 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm / United States (Texas) / Work