About ManiBoo : callsign ; matrix . ✈
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ManiBoo's favorite FMLs
Today, I got to listen while my grandma, who has dementia and therefore a poor memory, explained to me why the old man on TV was a sex god. She forgot everything once she said it. I got to listen to her explanation five times over. FML
by scared for life / 01/29/2012 at 11:23am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML
by Anonymous / 01/18/2012 at 6:30am / Australia / Transportation
by anonymous / 01/13/2012 at 12:05am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friend set me up with a cute guy who is very germaphobic. So, I spent 4 hours cleaning my apartment. 2 minutes into the date, I sneezed. He politely told me he wasn't feeling well and left. FML
by upsetandannoyed / 01/01/2012 at 12:41am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I'm spending time with my granny, with whom I'm supposed to live with for a few weeks. I've noticed that she repeats the last word of every sentence I say, and now I'm wondering how it's possible for me to now be so horrible that I want to punch a sweet 92-year-old lady in the head. FML
by Anonymous / 11/29/2011 at 9:09pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
by Geraldine / 11/29/2011 at 8:53pm / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
by Anonymous / 11/04/2011 at 9:21pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML
by adieuvelib / 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML
by jumpedjogger / 09/14/2011 at 4:34am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/01/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, my house got broken into. Thankfully they didn't steal anything. They did, however, move things around into strange places and mess up my underwear. I have severe OCD, so this is probably worse than if they had taken everything. FML
by WTFwhywouldyoudothat / 08/22/2011 at 6:10pm / United Kingdom (Rotherham) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started work at my new job. I was excited to have been given an office of my own, but shortly after sitting down at my desk, the door across the hall opened and an unspeakably murderous stench that could've curdled milk seeped in. My office is opposite the men's room. Great. FML
by joshua / 08/05/2011 at 8:18pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by jellymoon14 / 07/28/2011 at 6:25pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
by cheddar / 07/20/2011 at 6:17pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous