About ManiBoo : callsign ; matrix . ✈
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ManiBoo's favorite FMLs
Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. While looking at the menu, my date said "Who even likes kweetch? Gross." When I realized she was trying to say "quiche", I corrected her. That pissed her off. Now I'm at home, alone, trying to decide which hand is going to keep me company tonight. FML
by left, I guess / 04/12/2015 at 1:00pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/23/2015 at 9:49pm / United States (West Virginia) / Work
by RadioactiveKush / 03/01/2015 at 2:07am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by mags89 / 02/25/2015 at 9:18am / United States / Work
by bugger / 02/22/2015 at 12:31pm / Intimacy
Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML
by wife / 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/20/2015 at 4:26pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML
by Anonymous / 02/14/2015 at 12:47pm / Ireland / Intimacy
Today, the CEO of my company leaned over and said, "Hey, I've been meaning to thank you…" I thought he was going to thank me for all of my hard work, but he continued, "…for wearing that shirt today. I can totally see your boobs." FML
by titsmcgee / 02/11/2015 at 4:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML
by Anonymous / 02/07/2015 at 9:33am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by alostr1 / 02/06/2015 at 12:32pm / United States / Health
by jamienicole1993 / 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML
by MIB thingy please... / 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, I got a wedgie after a workout class. As I was walking, I used my gym bag to discreetly unwedgie it, and then turned around to check that no one was there. The cute guy that I had a crush on last year was right behind me, and by the look on his face, it wasn't discreet. FML
by nooo / 02/04/2015 at 7:00pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, my mom texted me and asked what I was up to. In response, I joked, "Dancing on the dining room table, waving dad's Calvin Klein's in the air, and shooting bullets into her bedroom floor." Not only did the cops show up, but now I'm grounded for two weeks for being, "deceptively believable." FML
by #goodbyelife / 12/08/2014 at 7:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous