ManInTheMachine

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Offline (the 09/19/2015 at 1:02am)

ManInTheMachine

17Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 February 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7285
  • Number of comments : 1625
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 73 posted

About ManInTheMachine : "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." -Albert Einstein

Please, do not take my username literally. Do not call me Robot, cyborg, etc. My username was only chosen as a result of not being able to log into my old account.

As long as you're not an idiot, an 'animal', or an arrogant fool, chances are I'm quite fond of you. If I make a mistake, feel free to point it out to me. I try my best to cross my T's and dot my I's, but I am human, and do make mistakes. It would be appreciated. :)

If you have any *personal* issues with me aside from my comment, either PM me or thumb me down. Otherwise, shut the fuck up. It's flattering that you care enough about an online commenter to bitch me out, but I honestly couldn't care less. Cheers.

ManInTheMachine's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 7:32pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 1:35am<b>jackt815</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 5:01pm<b>KingPinkiepie</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 1:25pm<b>teenagedropout</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 3:22pm<b>Baustigt</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 3:43am<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 7:52am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 2:34pm<b>SkoomaKi</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 9:49am<b>donaldthegrump</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 8:43pm<b>bheaze</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 9:02pm<b>checkthemilk</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 10:34am<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 11:30am<b>Autistic_Slut</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 1:55am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 7:11am<b>Paulcs</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 6:16pm<b>BDanzeisen</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 12:44pm<b>MikaykayUnicorn</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 1:15am

Fucked!<b>walker9879</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 7:35am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 8:34pm<b>donaldthegrump</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 2:43am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 10:38am<b>magicdust95</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 9:16pm<b>bugmenotmofo</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 5:07pm<b>rowanrules41</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 4:54pm<b>max367</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 5:54am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 4:43am<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 11:49pm<b>Musicforlife29</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 10:26pm<b>AlexxGhost</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 12:38pm<b>Baustigt</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 5:35pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:41pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 11:14am<b>seetei</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 12:13am<b>Welshite</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 6:56pm

ManInTheMachine's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of ManInTheMachine's badges

ManInTheMachine's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend decided that he didn't need a real job. He wants to sell pot for a living. Or hang drywall. He can't decide. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2012 at 4:57pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, after 3 hours in a cramped car with my family, we stopped at a gas station. I got out of the car and the first words out of my mouth were, "It feels so good to be able to walk!" That's when I noticed the elderly man sitting in a wheelchair only a few meters away. FML

by VerbalDiarrhea / 01/08/2012 at 2:34am / United States (Nevada) / Transportation

Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML

by Tim / 08/03/2011 at 3:40am / United States / Love

Today, I went on a run with the family dog. I returned home to three missed calls and a hysterical voicemail from my dad. Why? The dog was gone. Not me, his fifteen year old daughter, the dog. FML

by kacysospacyy / 07/15/2011 at 2:23pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

by anon / 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 1:20am / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300 pound man walked out, shook his head, and said "I'm sorry" to me. FML

by mr_p / 11/01/2010 at 3:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got called a f***ing b**ch by one of my students. I teach kindergarten. FML

by love_today / 05/29/2010 at 10:36pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, while babysitting a six year old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his pants/undies and pointed to his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML

by Michele / 01/17/2010 at 7:32pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML

by Davios / 12/27/2009 at 3:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got bailed out of jail. I was there because I saw a girl being hit by her boyfriend. I rushed over to help only to have her hit me repeatedly. The cops came and she blamed her bruises on me. The boyfriend corroborated her story. FML

by ournhd / 11/13/2009 at 1:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbor confessed to me that he was homophobic and regrets that his family doesnt know it. He spent fifteen minutes explaining how much he would hate to have a gay child. I spent two hours last night convincing his son that it was the right thing to tell his family he was gay. FML

by mook / 07/15/2009 at 3:33pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

by lm / 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

by JohnMackSquirts / 03/19/2009 at 1:15am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my sister teased me about being a mistake baby. When I told my mom what my sister said, her response was "I still love you anyway". FML

by melissa / 02/10/2009 at 6:41pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous