ManInTheMachine

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Offline (the 09/19/2015 at 1:02am)

ManInTheMachine

19Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 February 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8545
  • Number of comments : 1625
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 73 posted

About ManInTheMachine : "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." -Albert Einstein

Please, do not take my username literally. Do not call me Robot, cyborg, etc. My username was only chosen as a result of not being able to log into my old account.

As long as you're not an idiot, an 'animal', or an arrogant fool, chances are I'm quite fond of you. If I make a mistake, feel free to point it out to me. I try my best to cross my T's and dot my I's, but I am human, and do make mistakes. It would be appreciated. :)

If you have any *personal* issues with me aside from my comment, either PM me or thumb me down. Otherwise, shut the fuck up. It's flattering that you care enough about an online commenter to bitch me out, but I honestly couldn't care less. Cheers.

ManInTheMachine's page activity

Visits<b>jforren</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 4:58pm<b>xBassman2000x</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 5:27pm<b>The_great_high</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 1:43pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 9:24pm<b>benjamin03</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 9:16pm<b>2simz</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 5:01pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 12:01pm<b>flyingflies</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 1:58am<b>Laeffy</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 5:21pm<b>legoman213579</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 11:08pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 7:32pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 1:35am<b>jackt815</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 5:01pm<b>KingPinkiepie</b> - the 06/03/2016 at 1:25pm<b>teenagedropout</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 3:22pm<b>Baustigt</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 3:43am<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 7:52am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 2:34pm

Fucked!<b>benjamin03</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 3:16am<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 6:01pm<b>walker9879</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 7:35am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 8:34pm<b>donaldthegrump</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 2:43am<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 10:38am<b>magicdust95</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 9:16pm<b>bugmenotmofo</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 5:07pm<b>rowanrules41</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 4:54pm<b>max367</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 5:54am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 4:43am<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 11:49pm<b>Musicforlife29</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 10:26pm<b>AlexxGhost</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 12:38pm<b>Baustigt</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 5:35pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 1:41pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 11:14am<b>seetei</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 12:13am

ManInTheMachine's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of ManInTheMachine's badges

ManInTheMachine's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the devil tempted her. FML

by sonofahypocriticalwhore / 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shopping when I overheard a woman telling an employee that she was buying an iPad for her 5-year-old son. Annoyed, I turned around and ranted about how he should have more age appropriate toys. Then she explained that her son is autistic and will be using the iPad to communicate. FML

by Mimi / 11/29/2012 at 12:29am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a big job interview. Everything went well at first, with the interviewer being impressed by my CV. I was then interrogated over not having a Facebook account, and practically accused of being a criminal, because people without them "always have something to hide". FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2012 at 6:59pm / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Work

Today, while at a red light, a guy in a tux and sunglasses doing the Gangnam Style passed over the crossing, followed by a man with a video camera. This isn't the first time I've stopped for people doing a Gangnam Style parody. FML

by Gangnam / 11/16/2012 at 10:52am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 1:10pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, someone stole my iPhone. I used the Find My iPhone app, and located it in the apartment building next to mine. I can hear the ringing sound I've activated, but nobody will answer the door. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 12:50pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

by john r.t. / 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

by Targeted / 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my crazy bitch of a boss fired me for inappropriate conduct. Apparently my "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. FML

by Screwed / 11/08/2012 at 11:02pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML

by Shauna / 11/08/2012 at 6:09am / United States / Kids

Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2012 at 12:49am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2012 at 12:49am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I realized that I'm a terrible human being. For the first time in my life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of my face long enough for me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML

by justcomesnaturally / 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

by for fuck sake dad / 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm / Ireland (Limerick) / Love

Today, before leaving my house, I OCD-checked all of my doors 16 times to make sure that they were locked. When I got home, my house had been broken into. Turns out I accidentally unlocked my front door when trying to lock it for the last time. This is why I have OCD. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2012 at 11:02pm / United States (California) / Health