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ManInTheMachine

Offline (the 12/04/2014 at 9:38pm) | Search for a member

ManInTheMachine

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 February 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5801
  • Number of comments : 1625
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 73 posted

About ManInTheMachine : "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." -Albert Einstein

Please, do not take my username literally. Do not call me Robot, cyborg, etc. My username was only chosen as a result of not being able to log into my old account.

As long as you're not an idiot, an 'animal', or an arrogant fool, chances are I'm quite fond of you. If I make a mistake, feel free to point it out to me. I try my best to cross my T's and dot my I's, but I am human, and do make mistakes. It would be appreciated. :)

If you have any *personal* issues with me aside from my comment, either PM me or thumb me down. Otherwise, shut the fuck up. It's flattering that you care enough about an online commenter to bitch me out, but I honestly couldn't care less. Cheers.

ManInTheMachine's page activity

Visits<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 5:14am<b>gigistar15</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 12:01pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 10:07am<b>One_Way</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 1:27am<b>kinsmas</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 4:49pm<b>rkdstp1995</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 2:58am<b>constipation</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 5:08pm<b>seetei</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 7:12pm<b>facelick</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:55pm<b>Akazuki</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 3:38pm<b>hurrhurr</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 8:31am<b>emily_tuttle</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 10:31pm<b>Retaheki</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 4:28am<b>happysmile987</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 4:26pm<b>Random4Dayz</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 9:45pm<b>LeashaJoy5595</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 3:06pm<b>sstahpp</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 6:36am<b>year2015</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 11:35pm

Liked!<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - yesterday at 11:14am<b>seetei</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 12:13am<b>Welshite</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 6:56pm

ManInTheMachine's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of ManInTheMachine's badges

ManInTheMachine's favorite FMLs

Yesterday, I was holding the door open fir a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked y she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the ( No MSG ) sign meant u couldn't text inside. FML

#20519764
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33301) - you deserved it (3623)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, boss told me to go outside and take part in te company's stupid Harlem Sake video. Wen I declined, e treatened to fre me if I didn't take part. I ended up bieng te guy wo ad to furiously pelvic trust before te music dropped. FML

#20518411
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36296) - you deserved it (6156)

On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)

yastarday aftar naarly six waaks of saaing a nica girl wa finally dacidad to maka it official. Two hours latar sha pullad out a bridal magazina an not-so-casually askad mahich wadding location I thought was tha nicast. FML

#20517490
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30159) - you deserved it (3918)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

I felt like letting ma ex know just ow I felt about all te bullsit e putted me troug. I dug up is number, typed a long paragrap wit lots of pain and emotion, and sent it. Te reply: "No wonder e broke up wit you." Tanks, woever as tat number now. FML

#20512366
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11091) - you deserved it (41082)

On 02/18/2013 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, Mah Mum Got The Idea Of Switching To A Different Dishwashing Detergent. The New One Is So Strong That It Coats All The Dishes In A Nauseating Perfume-like Smell. It's So Pungent That It Gets Absorbd Into Everything We Eat Or Drink. She's Determind To Use Up The Entire Bottle. Mega FML

#20508218
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25815) - you deserved it (2060)

On 02/15/2013 at 1:50pm - health - by selena5112 (woman) - Norway (Troms)

Today, I had to explain tohite girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call mother the n-word. FML

#20507523
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40879) - you deserved it (8652)

On 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, ( Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you. ) FML

#20505985
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13239) - you deserved it (54661)

On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)

TODAY, WHILE WAITING FIR MY ORDER AT A RESTAURANT, A WOMAN WALKED UP TO ME AND SLAPPED ME. SHE LOOKED AT ME FIR A MOMENT AND SAID ( SORRY, I THOUGHT U WERE SOMEONE ELSE. ) TEN MINUTES LATER, THE SAME WOMAN CUMMED BACK AND SLAPPED ME AGAIN. MEGA FML

#20502782
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33028) - you deserved it (2432)

On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States

2day with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of looool the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over mah living room. I was eating cereal in mah underwear, in the living room, drectly under the failure. I'm cold. FML

#20502433
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42846) - you deserved it (3513)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

TODAY, A GRL CAME UP TO ME ON THE STREET AND SAID, "YOU HAVE LYK NO SWAG, BRO." FEELING CLEVER, I SAID, "AT LEAST I HAVE A HIGH SCHOOL EDUCATION." SHE THEN TOOK OUT HER WORK ID, SHOWING ME THAT SHE WAS A SURGEON, FLIPPD ME OFF, THEN WALKD AWAY SAYING, "THIS IS TOTALLY GOING ON FACEBOOK." FML

#20502122
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31029) - you deserved it (28127)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked ma moter if I could ave ma boyfriend sleep over 4 Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on yur period e can. Unless e's into tat. Ten no." FML

#20496085
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20778) - you deserved it (38221)

On 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by dab1230 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as a firafightar, wa wara callad to assist tha ambulanca craw with lifting a dacaasad patiant out of a housa . Littla did I know, ha had baan daad insida 4 3 waaks, and was bloatad and poppad lika a watar balloon whan wa attamptad to mova him . My girlfriand mada soup 4 tha avaning maal . FML

#20488428
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38559) - you deserved it (2173)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML

#20477547
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43682) - you deserved it (4334)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:11am - intimacy - by swollenpenis - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I met with my Bolivian friend, who's vacationing ere for a few weeks. Eager to show him how welcoming we are in the USA, I took him home an introduced him to my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Bolivia? That's in Europe, right? We saved yur asses in World War 2." FML

#20477083
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28423) - you deserved it (3527)

On 01/24/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by oh ffs (man) - United States

Today I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average . Feeling good about myself I decided to bake some cookies . After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven I realized I forgot to turn the oven on . big fat FML

#20475894
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16707) - you deserved it (29941)

On 01/24/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by steven - United States (California)



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