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Offline (the 01/06/2014 at 5:55am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 29 July 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2689
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Malory14 : I love, love, love my darling Ricky

Malory14's page activity

Visits<b>MiaChante</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 9:54pm

Malory14's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.


You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of Malory14's badges

Malory14's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when I got a sudden agonising cramp in my foot. I cried out in pain, but he didn't stop. If anything, my cries of pain seemed to spur him on. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2013 at 2:10pm / United Kingdom (Sunderland) / Intimacy

Today, my dad is forcing me to go shopping with him tomorrow for Black Friday, because he's convinced that my martial arts classes will come in handy when people "inevitably" try to beat the shit out of us in the rush for cheap stuff. FML

by fuck me / 11/28/2013 at 2:13pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my long-distance boyfriend for the first time in 8 months. He dumped me on the spot because I was "uglier" than he remembered. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2013 at 11:28am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML

by Seriously_Scaredy_Cat / 11/27/2013 at 2:08am / United States / Animals

Today, my ex's mom got a job as our new soccer coach and recognized me from our New Year's party last year. She made me, and me alone, do 10 laps around the field in the rain for breaking her son's heart. FML

by Amanda / 11/26/2013 at 3:00pm / United States / Love

Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML

by Thanks guys / 11/26/2013 at 12:21am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML

by fs / 11/23/2013 at 6:45pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

by I hate that game / 11/23/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to have a talk with my stalker. After telling him not to snapchat me, not to text me, and that I'm not interested, all he said was "I think persistence is going to be key here." FML

by AshleyRose24 / 11/23/2013 at 3:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend got on one knee and started talking about how we met. Knowing what was coming, I started tearing up, absolutely sure he was going to propose. Just as I was about to say yes, he quickly stood up and yelled "HAH, JUST KIDDING". FML

by Anonymous / 11/22/2013 at 7:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my father took revenge on me for bankrupting him in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consisted of having a truckload of sand dumped in my driveway while I was at work. FML

by Anonymous / 11/22/2013 at 3:51pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

by smooth / 11/21/2013 at 11:10am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell asleep at my bus stop following a long day at work. I woke up to a homeless man giggling after he had clipped dozens of clothespins to my clothes, shoes, and hair in my sleep. FML

by 43_clothespins_later / 11/20/2013 at 7:12pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm moving from Arizona to Washington State with my 2 cats in my car. I've only just left and just learned that one cat gets carsick and the other stress farts. Only 956 more miles to go. FML

by Catcrap! / 11/18/2013 at 6:47pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, some kids used firecrackers to blow up my mailbox. This is the third time this week. FML

by kids next door / 11/18/2013 at 5:14am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids