Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Mahtari

Offline (the 04/13/2015 at 7:43pm) | Search for a member

Mahtari

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7473
  • Number of comments : 116
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Mahtari : I'm filthy.

Mahtari's page activity

Visits<b>helen_ellexo</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 12:49am<b>Tezoma</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 4:15pm<b>hamzor</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 4:28pm<b>mollyjynxjax</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 7:43pm<b>iMeowchu</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 6:28pm<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 12:40am<b>STOspartan</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 3:03pm<b>CHabib</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 12:18am<b>shmaowzow</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 10:25pm<b>nicole_is_bunny</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 8:06am<b>talesoftheold</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 6:09am<b>stay18k</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 1:43am<b>Rainbow_dumpster</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 6:41am<b>CaptMurdock</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 12:11pm<b>Link5794</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 11:27am<b>neeni88</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 1:17am<b>AgniKai</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 1:10am<b>maosquare</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 9:07pm

Mahtari's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Mahtari's badges

Mahtari's favorite FMLs

Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML

#21361518
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34541) - you deserved it (2906)

On 02/23/2015 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a man approached me and told me he wanted to drink my dirty bath water. FML

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home with no shopping. FML

#21352119
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43510) - you deserved it (2993)

On 02/08/2015 at 2:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

#21349028
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34431) - you deserved it (2332)

On 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I had a job interview at a café. The interviewer asked me my availability and I told her that I was fully flexible. She laughed and said, "Really? That's tragic." FML

#21345516
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25611) - you deserved it (2255)

On 01/28/2015 at 8:09am - work - by tipmeover (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I went to a club to celebrate New Year's Eve. A cute guy came up to me at the bar and asked my name. I thought my 8 year long dry spell was finally about to end. I smiled and said "Chrissy!" He said "That's a whore's name!" and wandered back off into the crowd. FML

#21327860
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31638) - you deserved it (2989)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:39pm - love - by cakestar9 (woman) - Ireland (Clare)

Today, I was trying on wedding dresses with my future sister-in-law who is a little bigger than me. We tried on a similar dress and she said it looked better on me because I'm skinny. Instead of saying, 'No way' or 'It looks great on you', I accidentally said 'Yeah, I know'. FML

#21327629
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17948) - you deserved it (30742)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:47am - health - by bridezilla - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

#21326143
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30591) - you deserved it (15310)

On 12/28/2014 at 9:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my classmate said I looked better without makeup. Well, her exact words were, "You look like less of a whore without makeup." FML

Today, as I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, she started doing stupidly fake moaning, which then went really high-pitched like a little girl's, killing my hard-on. She says she thought that because I'm Japanese-American, I'd only be able to cum if she copied "those Japanese pornstars". FML

#21317298
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37135) - you deserved it (3763)

On 12/14/2014 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by dating a moron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML

#21315591
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27475) - you deserved it (3217)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm - kids - by MedStudent90 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML

#21315476
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39324) - you deserved it (2693)

On 12/11/2014 at 7:01am - love - by Brasilian29 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39047) - you deserved it (3995)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48149) - you deserved it (13523)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I dropped my trash into what I thought was a garbage can. My co-workers stared at me like I had just pissed myself. It was a toy collection box for children in foster care. FML

#21302935
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29284) - you deserved it (9427)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: