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MagicGiraffe

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MagicGiraffe
  • Town/Country : Ujbkgfcvbh, Michigan
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1329
  • Number of comments : 252
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About MagicGiraffe : I'm an 19 year old boy who's trying to figure out who he is.
I you ever want to get to know me or just talk, feel free to message me.
I don't bite, only nibble. ;)

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MagicGiraffe's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought a new car, and before I left, the dealer offered to help me set up the sync. I agreed, but I really wish I'd remembered that my Bluetooth name is TitsMcGee. FML

#20139648
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4031) - you deserved it (15524)

On 10/30/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by embarassedmuch - United States

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23012) - you deserved it (2150)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML

#20134163
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19755) - you deserved it (2711)

On 10/26/2012 at 12:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, after waking up from a drunken night, I realized the burning sensation I had from the lube during sex was because I used hand sanitizer. FML

#20125076
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9450) - you deserved it (31855)

On 10/20/2012 at 9:57am - intimacy - by MIND BLOWING - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked into work, after having given my boss a weather prediction last week, so he could decide on which day to open a new company division. I was immediately taken aside and written up for "providing false information, adversley impacting morale". FML

#20122652
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14763) - you deserved it (1673)

On 10/18/2012 at 3:40pm - work - by johnnyfuckfacer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the police searched my house because my neighbors thought we were aiming a gun with laser sight at them. We were only getting our daft dog to chase a laser light around; we don't even own any guns. FML

#20117729
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17738) - you deserved it (2079)

On 10/15/2012 at 4:33am - misc - by triple l (woman) - United States

Today, while coming out of Walmart, I dropped a $50 bill. Some kid came running up after me yelling, "Hey mister, you dropped this!" as he ran past me laughing. FML

#19292961
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23394) - you deserved it (3599)

On 03/17/2012 at 9:04am - money - by dhbeaver - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was jamming out and playing some air guitar. I somehow managed to knee myself directly in my left eye socket. I now have a hideously swollen face and a black eye. When people ask me what happened, I'll be hesitant to tell the truth. FML

#19237807
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7138) - you deserved it (17342)

On 03/08/2012 at 4:03am - misc - by wtf - United States

Today, I received the results of the exams that I re-took in order to improve my grades. I got exactly the same grades as before in all four exams. Point for point identical. FML

#19237669
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10638) - you deserved it (13563)

On 03/08/2012 at 3:06am - work - by stuckonrepeat (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML

#19039187
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21755) - you deserved it (4916)

On 02/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Jarryd - Australia

Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML

#19039187
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21755) - you deserved it (4916)

On 02/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Jarryd - Australia

Today, my kitchen nearly burned down because the fire alarm didn't detect the plumes of smoke wafting through the kitchen. This is the same alarm that wails when I use the toaster. FML

#18825531
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23055) - you deserved it (2097)

On 01/16/2012 at 3:18pm - misc - by Lea (woman) - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, I'm on a medication that really dehydrates my skin. I thought split lips were the worst side effects. Other split orifices make a trip to the toilet a literal pain in the arse. No sign of stopping in the near future. FML

#18560228
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20732) - you deserved it (1875)

On 12/20/2011 at 7:46am - health - by ouch (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was giving a presentation at work, when I said, "But we could care less about that." My boss asked if I meant, "Couldn't care less." Wanting to avoid embarrassment, I tried to think up an excuse, only to end up blurting that it was my phone's auto-correct. FML

#18512301
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6060) - you deserved it (27579)

On 12/14/2011 at 4:21pm - work - by sharon (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was fired. For "lack of attention to details", specifically spelling errors. My now ex-boss misspelled the name of his own company on my severance agreement. FML

#18403408
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19805) - you deserved it (2059)

On 12/01/2011 at 1:55pm - work - by JadeC - United States (New York)



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