Mafia_

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Offline (the 08/15/2016 at 7:01pm)

Mafia_

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 734
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Mafia_ : About you

Mafia_'s page activity

Visits<b>CatLady4Lyf</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 6:26am<b>abNormal62</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 6:19pm<b>Camo23</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 9:12pm<b>garf3265</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 6:39pm<b>littlekellilee</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 4:28pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 7:17pm<b>swagmaster696969</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:59pm<b>Andrewski12</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 7:06pm<b>i_lik_tomaters</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 11:50am<b>jada_crump</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 8:23am<b>batgirlkave</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 2:51am<b>MissEris</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 12:33am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 10:31pm<b>shady_fox77</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 10:21pm<b>PlainWhiteWalls</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 6:31pm<b>jessal</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 11:45pm<b>BeautifulChaos27</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 8:46pm<b>watchwhileusleep</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:14pm

Fucked!<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 9:11pm

Mafia_'s FML badges

Inception

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Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of Mafia_'s badges

Mafia_'s favorite FMLs

Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2015 at 2:59am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom announced my pregnancy to the entire family via Facebook with the post, "Just went from a MILF to a GILF in one moment of unprotected sex." FML

Today, my dad woke me up at 5am saying that there was dog shit on the carpet. I thought it was just a clever ruse to get me into the living room for a birthday surprise. It wasn't. There really was dog shit that I had to clean up, with no "Happy birthday"s even uttered. FML

by 21ShitCleaner / 04/21/2015 at 8:51am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my day began with a "Good morning, beautiful." and ended with a "Maybe someone would love you if you were pretty." FML

by cheshirealyce / 03/05/2015 at 12:36pm / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The officer was nice and let me off with just a warning. That is, until my dipshit brother yelled "Fucking pig!" out the window as the officer walked back to his car. FML

by Anonymous / 07/21/2014 at 11:58am / United States (Connecticut) / Transportation

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

by knobbed / 01/27/2014 at 6:09pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Health

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm / United States / Health

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML

by nicoreal89 / 11/25/2011 at 3:20am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

by Shaun / 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

by htothecr / 05/03/2009 at 5:05pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a fast-food joint and ordered off the $1.00 menu to save money. Five hours later I go to the hospital with food-poisoning. After a whole day of not eating, crapping, puking, having tests, and a bunch of IV fluids, my $1.00 burger ended up costing me $2,000 in bills. Really. FML

by Sick / 05/02/2009 at 12:56am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I went for a jog. I had stopped at an intersection to let a car go by. The car stopped and the driver waved me on, so I started jogging again. After a few steps, I feel a sharp pain in my side, then wake up in the hospital. The driver 'accidentally' hit the gas. FML

by I_Hate_Cars / 04/15/2009 at 10:10am / United States (South Carolina) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my family and I were at a restaurant. We're Swedish and love talking about people in our language because no one ever understands here. I decided to comment about how ugly the girl at the next table was. She turned around and goes "Dra åt helvete." That's Swedish for "Go to hell." FML

by SwedishBozo / 03/14/2009 at 9:30pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 2 hours with my boyfriend and the guy that I have been secretly having an affair with for 6 months. FML

by Noname / 02/02/2009 at 2:23pm / United States (Maryland) / Love