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Mads_1234's favorite FMLs
by tapeissticky591 / 07/14/2012 at 1:49am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
by habbsrule / 06/15/2012 at 10:21am / Canada / Kids
by ladylarni / 04/07/2012 at 4:20am / Australia / Love
by MakesMeLol / 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her new food choices are making her pass deadly, nauseating gas all night. We have a busted window that won't open. I'm afraid I may not live to see tomorrow morning. FML
by pinkleopleurodon / 12/09/2011 at 7:23am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Margo / 11/15/2011 at 10:16am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm / United States / Kids
Today, my doctor asked for a urine sample. It's the first time I've tried to cup my own pee. Despite the fact that I'm a woman, I managed to aim wrong, and sprayed the floor, hit the door and my handbag with my own pee. FML
by goldengirl / 08/26/2011 at 5:09am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, my girlfriend made me watch six hours of "Glee" with her. I don't know what I hate the most, the fact that I actually sat there and watched it or that I'm angry at Finn for breaking up with Rachel. FML
Today, I was in church. After we were done praying, I quickly sat back down, accidentally crushing my testicles in the process. I squealed loudly and all but pissed my pants, earning me plenty of weird looks from the congregation. FML
by Nate / 03/31/2011 at 11:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, at the age of 16, I'm recovering from hip surgery. My friends took me out to the movies to cheer me up. They thought it would be hilarious to steal my crutches and leave me stranded and alone in the mall, multiple times. It wasn't. FML
by crutchy / 03/20/2011 at 11:03am / United States (Washington) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by bride / 02/14/2011 at 1:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by courtbabbbby / 02/12/2011 at 1:30am / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I… Today, my 9 year-old daughter had really bad constipation. When I took her to the doctor, he had to… Today, I woke up for the third time in a row from a wet dream about my ex-girlfriend. I'm currently…