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Macscotty's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/24/2014 at 10:21am / United States / Transportation
by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by soreloser / 05/20/2013 at 2:32am / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous
by BarBacked / 04/15/2013 at 3:31am / United States / Work
Today, some beefed-up guy wearing a wife-beater sat in my restaurant, took out a big sack of coins, and played My Little Pony songs on the jukebox for 4 hours straight. I couldn't summon the courage to tell him to leave. FML
by lingling / 12/15/2012 at 7:57pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML
by banana2894 / 08/10/2012 at 12:40am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by FMLMom / 08/08/2012 at 4:02am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by c / 07/22/2012 at 12:50am / United States (Louisiana) / Work
Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML
by owwwww / 07/19/2012 at 4:05pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health
by nobrony / 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML
by Anonymous / 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy
by ajnmegs / 04/19/2012 at 12:08pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by MattBC97 / 03/27/2012 at 12:24pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML
by Anon / 03/22/2012 at 7:32pm / United States (New York) / Money
by Chey / 03/22/2012 at 6:13pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, it's been two years since I graduated with my master's. It's also been the same amount of…