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Ma_Nikka's favorite FMLs
by trollbot13 / 10/24/2016 at 5:39am / India (Andhra Pradesh) / Work
by pantless / 10/23/2016 at 5:31am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by jaymaag25 / 10/20/2016 at 2:28am / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, in a department store, a woman with a parrot sitting on her shoulder was trying to return a coffee maker. She explained that she had to return the coffee maker because the bird didn't like it sitting on the kitchen counter. FML
by oped01 / 10/17/2016 at 8:15pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
by LittleLou / 10/16/2016 at 12:28am / United States / Intimacy
by makayta / 10/08/2016 at 2:20am / United States (California) / Work
by JEHR / 10/07/2016 at 3:21am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
Today, I got a call informing me that my 16-year-old daughter had been arrested for shoplifting jewellery. Trying to look on the bright side, I assumed it was for my birthday that is coming up in a few days. Nope. It was a "Thank you" gift. For her drug dealer. FML
by Pissed.Off.Mom. / 10/06/2016 at 1:14am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, while working at a bank, I helped a customer who was making a large withdrawal. After I counted out his money, I asked "Do you want the strap on?" After a moment of awkward silence, as I realized how that came out, he smiled and said, "No thanks, I don't need one." and winked. Great. FML
by StarDust5921 / 10/03/2016 at 9:55pm / United States (New York) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/03/2016 at 10:09am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, the owner of the house I'm renting said he doesn't want to pay $4000 to fumigate the home, and that he'll take care of the issue himself. I have killed 30 angry wasps in the last hour. There are thousands living in the walls, but I think their favorite place is my bathroom and my bed. FML
by wasp infestation / 10/03/2016 at 12:54am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a bug bite on my boob. I scratched it so much it started bleeding so I put a bandaid on it. Turns out the band-aid had latex in it and I got an allergic reaction to it. The bug bite is still bleeding and the top half of my boob is swollen. FML
by paytonallyce / 10/02/2016 at 10:32pm / United States (Missouri) / Health
by Crawlinginmymemes / 10/02/2016 at 2:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML
by anonymous / 10/01/2016 at 5:00am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/14/2016 at 8:35pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I went over to my crush's house for the first time. Everything was going great until his dog… Today, I was talking to a boy I'm interested in and tried to make conversation while taking a sip… Today, I was at drama club, rehearsing for a play I'm in. But I had to leave early and so I went up…