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MRVOlivia's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/26/2012 at 12:17pm / Philippines (Manila) / Kids
Today, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. During the rounds, a grisly but nice young fellow told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was quite touched; that is until he leaned in and added, "Can I have them for my collection?" FML
by Anonymous / 06/12/2012 at 3:01pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML
by Cookie / 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm / South Africa / Miscellaneous
by Yoda / 07/08/2011 at 1:23am / United States (New York) / Geek
by human torch / 03/18/2010 at 11:22am / United States / Health
Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML
by driver / 01/06/2010 at 9:55am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, I had a seizure at my boyfriend's. The second I began to seize, he cursed and picked me up, dropping me on the floor complaining "Now I have to clean the damn couch." I had urinated because I had no control over my body. The couch is still stained. He dumped me for ruining his furniture. FML
by notsomuchinlove / 08/07/2009 at 4:55am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was walking the beach and I saw my crush walking towards me. I was thinking about what I was going to do while playing with my top that ties in the front. I decided that I was just going to smile. When we got closer to each other I smiled and waved as I put my hand up it untied my top. FML
by sierra808 / 05/31/2009 at 5:43am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
by badmom / 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip, which threw me off balance, making me smash my (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML
by Sick / 02/24/2009 at 3:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…
- Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to… Today, my husband left his laptop logged in to a chat site after leaving for work. Curious, I read… Today, I had to make a deal with my 22 year old fiancé. What was the deal? If he put deodorant on,…