M4nt1d

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Offline (the 11/01/2016 at 5:17am)

M4nt1d

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 436
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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M4nt1d's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of M4nt1d's badges

M4nt1d's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my boyfriend about how I was a test tube baby. He looked at me with confusion before asking, "But if scientists made you, surely you'd be really attractive and talented and stuff?" FML

by thanks babe / 10/06/2014 at 7:47pm / United Kingdom (Shropshire) / Love

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

by Pandamomma / 07/21/2014 at 8:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend complained all day about being bored, so wanting to cheer him up, I put on some sexy clothes and went to his house. I got on his bed in my underwear and called him over. He quickly decided he'd rather play Diablo for the next five hours instead. FML

by Justawoman / 06/04/2014 at 11:52am / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Intimacy

Today, a customer screamed at me, because her iced coffee tasted exactly like coffee, and she hates coffee. Sadly, this isn't even the most insane person I've had to deal with at this job. FML

by Neanderthals walk among us / 08/04/2013 at 3:09pm / Hungary (Budapest) / Work

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

by accountnamevalid / 07/21/2013 at 12:45am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML

by mackmackey / 05/18/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Arizona) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Health

Today, I found the best cure for constipation is having my brother scare the literal shit out of me, in Walmart. FML

by crazyk2468 / 04/26/2012 at 1:29pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

by Baustigt / 04/10/2012 at 6:48am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

by hadtocleanthemess / 06/28/2011 at 8:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I was playing with my dog. His bouncy ball rolled under the couch, and I got on my hands and knees to get it. He decided it would be a good chance to hump the shit out of me. FML

by Username / 03/23/2011 at 12:21pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML

by elliekilroy / 12/10/2010 at 7:12pm / United Kingdom (Monmouthshire) / Animals

Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML

by ItHurtsLIkeHell / 03/01/2010 at 4:13am / Malaysia (Pulau Pinang) / Animals

Today, when setting up for a rehearsal, my eldest teacher was standing next to me. My music teacher announces that it will be a tight fit and hard for everyone to fit in the area. The old teacher next to me leans over and whispers, "I'd like to fit in your tight area." FML

by pinky / 02/12/2010 at 12:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my little brother got mad at me, so he colored the entire screen of my new iPod Touch with a black sharpie. FML

by epiiphany / 12/16/2009 at 6:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous