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LudicMonster's FML badges
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
LudicMonster's favorite FMLs
Today, I planned to drop a water balloon on my visiting prankster brother from my new apartment's balcony. As he crossed the street, I launched the balloon, and sent it right behind him. It hit an eight year old on a scooter. FML
by bullseyed / 12/07/2010 at 11:20pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by raidered / 03/08/2010 at 1:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by chris / 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I went to a party where I met some nice girls. One of them was really sweet and we were having a great time in my friend's backyard. As I was on the swing, I was gonna give her my number, but instead, I gave her a harsh kick to the face. FML
by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 5:27pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML
by BEE / 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Kegronauer / 08/23/2009 at 5:35pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML
by MitchFail / 07/23/2009 at 2:42am / United States / Intimacy
by PokeTheBear / 07/22/2009 at 5:09pm / Canada / Work
Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML
by Anonymous / 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML
by Tim / 06/16/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by hellogoodbye / 06/05/2009 at 11:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I was lighting fireworks for my cousin's birthday in my Grandmother's yard. When it came time to light the "Grand Finale", I read on the outside of the box,"Face this side toward crowd for best result". After I lit it, I realized that it was on it's side. I shot 100 fireworks at my family. FML
by Tyler_Padgett / 05/24/2009 at 7:52pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML
by zero_minded12 / 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by t-dawg / 05/09/2009 at 12:18am / United States (Minnesota) / Transportation
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML
by keeks_25 / 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
- Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only…