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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2148
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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Lucia_Malpense's page activity

Visits<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 4:23pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 1:30am<b>Mean_Oreo2436</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 1:40am<b>EnigmaticSoul</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 3:01pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 9:07am<b>PITSB</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 1:53am<b>SPN_lover666</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 2:58pm<b>lilferrit</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 1:57am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 6:56pm<b>Eivana</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 1:54pm<b>nwaugh72</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 6:42am<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 2:55am<b>kerstileann</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 12:36pm<b>KatlynBrooke</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 6:12am<b>garyplym</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 9:39am<b>Sansa</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 6:13pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 6:46pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 3:46pm

Fucked!<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 12:26pm<b>Eivana</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 6:54pm

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Lucia_Malpense's favorite FMLs

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend, when she reached over and twisted my nipples to the point of tears. I'm still not sure what in the name of Dawkins I did to deserve that. FML

by SoreNips / 04/12/2013 at 7:57pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

by jkbeynon / 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after an argument with my pianist girlfriend about how bad my favourite song would sound on the piano, she stormed out of the room crying, leaving behind a CD. It was the piano version of the song she'd made for me. FML

by douchegamer / 03/02/2013 at 10:38pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love

Today, my roommate told me that she wants to get some of those "My Family" stickers for her car. She's single and has no children. What does she want to get? One for her, and one for her goldfish. Sadly, this is probably one of the most intelligent things she's said all week. FML

by dumbass for a flatmate / 03/02/2013 at 9:35pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so long that when I looked down into my drink and saw a dead fly, I just picked it out and continued drinking. FML

by kenyaliving / 02/13/2013 at 5:04pm / Kenya / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. It's okay, I know who the father is: my ex-boyfriend, who moved to Japan last week. FML

by juno_op / 02/11/2013 at 1:17pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom accused me of stealing money from her purse. Being totally innocent, I reminded her that the only other person with access to it is her boyfriend. She said she trusts him because she loves him. They've been dating for 2 months. I've been her daughter for 25 years. FML

by :/ / 02/03/2013 at 7:26pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Money

Today, I told my parents that what I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, and have been wanting for months. They laughed and said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone and perhaps you'll become normal." FML

by HistoryFreak / 02/01/2013 at 4:19am / France / Geek

Today, my mom had the option of choosing anywhere in the world where we could go on vacation. We live in the USA and she chose to fly to Texas, rent an RV, and drive to Florida. Anywhere in the world. FML

by j_Lauren / 01/27/2013 at 11:48pm / United States / Holidays

Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 7:48am / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML

by dormeur / 01/18/2013 at 6:39am / Animals

Today, during an hour-long drive, my sister told me she's lost her "faith in humanity", because one of her friends bought his 8-year-old son an iPad. She uses this stupid expression all the time, and I got so pissed off that I forgot to brake at a red light, rear-ending the car in front of us. FML

by lostmyfaithinblowjobs / 01/11/2013 at 9:16pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work at a middle school. I've worked here for the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough for my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends / 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm / United States / Work

Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML

by anonymous001 / 01/08/2013 at 2:58pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML

by Tooyoungforthis / 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous