Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LowExpectations

Online | Search for a member

LowExpectations

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2415
  • Number of comments : 268
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About LowExpectations : "All humans are inferior in the eyes of Morbo. "

LowExpectations's page activity

Visits<b>Theglc20</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 2:24pm<b>emeraldisle</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 12:19am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 10:16pm<b>papygeorges</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 9:08pm<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 12:18am<b>llalala</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 2:39am<b>imyy</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 8:37am<b>asdfghjklmoo</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 6:54am<b>justmeee12</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 1:01am<b>beachygirl24</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 12:35am<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:26pm<b>xwingtwo</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 8:28pm<b>theweasel</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 5:19pm<b>annihil8or</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 12:13am<b>lishabear</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 6:36pm<b>PenguinBitch</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 5:33pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 5:07am<b>IamHercules</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 1:27am

Fucked!<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 4:16am

LowExpectations's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of LowExpectations's badges

LowExpectations's favorite FMLs

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let a loud fart rip. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML

#21398419
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28154) - you deserved it (3991) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/23/2015 at 8:27am - kids - by bleue - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML

#21397889
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32564) - you deserved it (2827)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was so hungry when I finished work that I grabbed some chips to eat on the bus home. The guy who sat next to me spat in them as he left to get off. FML

#21373490
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (167) - you deserved it (9)

On 03/12/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by Metallurge - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
462 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44406) - you deserved it (4024)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML

#21355550
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33403) - you deserved it (3387)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand and my mother found it. She refuses to believe that my boyfriend and I are not responsible. As punishment I am "no longer allowed to see him." We're both 22 and live together in our own apartment. FML

#21331631
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38979) - you deserved it (2968)

On 01/05/2015 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by innocent (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML

#21321894
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33340) - you deserved it (6128)

On 12/22/2014 at 3:05am - love - by ScottyB - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to explain to a customer that 50% off a $50 item did not make the item free. FML

#21307823
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38165) - you deserved it (2507)

On 11/28/2014 at 10:36pm - misc - by idiots - United States (Texas)

Today, I noticed my fish was still hungry after feeding him earlier. I figured, "Eh, a little bit more won't kill him". I was wrong. FML

#21303699
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29518) - you deserved it (8338)

On 11/22/2014 at 2:22am - animals - by liishax3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

#21301827
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35323) - you deserved it (3684)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:27am - intimacy - by jigglypluff (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

#21290572
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35104) - you deserved it (3901)

On 11/02/2014 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41248) - you deserved it (12391)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter mentioned that she didn't need to work because she could convert a dollar to 13 Mexican pesos and convert it back into "13 USD", over and over again. She's 17. FML

#21290410
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35642) - you deserved it (4727)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:23am - kids - by wow - United States (Florida)

Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML

#21285546
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34881) - you deserved it (4969)

On 10/26/2014 at 9:54am - kids - by Bob H. (man) - Canada (Quebec)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: