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LowExpectations

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LowExpectations

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1983
  • Number of comments : 264
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About LowExpectations : "All humans are inferior in the eyes of Morbo. "

LowExpectations's page activity

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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LowExpectations's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
448 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40389) - you deserved it (3795)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML

#21355550
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32804) - you deserved it (3365)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand and my mother found it. She refuses to believe that my boyfriend and I are not responsible. As punishment I am "no longer allowed to see him." We're both 22 and live together in our own apartment. FML

#21331631
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36950) - you deserved it (2464)

On 01/05/2015 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by innocent (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML

#21321894
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31899) - you deserved it (5619)

On 12/22/2014 at 3:05am - love - by ScottyB - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to explain to a customer that 50% off a $50 item did not make the item free. FML

#21307823
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38098) - you deserved it (2501)

On 11/28/2014 at 10:36pm - misc - by idiots - United States (Texas)

Today, I noticed my fish was still hungry after feeding him earlier. I figured, "Eh, a little bit more won't kill him". I was wrong. FML

#21303699
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29490) - you deserved it (8311)

On 11/22/2014 at 2:22am - animals - by liishax3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

#21301827
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35053) - you deserved it (3658)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:27am - intimacy - by jigglypluff (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

#21290572
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35020) - you deserved it (3896)

On 11/02/2014 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38374) - you deserved it (10821)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter mentioned that she didn't need to work because she could convert a dollar to 13 Mexican pesos and convert it back into "13 USD", over and over again. She's 17. FML

#21290410
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35550) - you deserved it (4720)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:23am - kids - by wow - United States (Florida)

Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML

#21285546
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33389) - you deserved it (4538)

On 10/26/2014 at 9:54am - kids - by Bob H. (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was shopping at my workplace, out of uniform, with my husband. A customer recognised me and wanted me to serve him, but I couldn't since we can be fired for doing so while off-duty. He complained to my manager, who wasted no time publicly bitching me out. FML

#21285416
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33576) - you deserved it (2159)

On 10/26/2014 at 1:53am - work - by iskiel (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37500) - you deserved it (10920)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35920) - you deserved it (4425)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States



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