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LowExpectations

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LowExpectations

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3114
  • Number of comments : 288
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About LowExpectations : "All humans are inferior in the eyes of Morbo. "

LowExpectations's page activity

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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LowExpectations's favorite FMLs

Today, after trying unsuccessfully for three or so years to have a baby with my wife, my broodiness has gotten so bad that when I saw a couple with their daughter at the bus stop, I briefly had a daydream where I shot them in the head and took their daughter home to raise as my own. FML

#21509677
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23078) - you deserved it (4627)

On 12/31/2015 at 6:57am - kids - by DesperateToBeDad (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a love letter during class and told him to read it when he got home. He texted me later asking me why I gave him my school assignment. I must have handed the love letter in to my teacher. FML

#21472551
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25677) - you deserved it (7250)

On 09/25/2015 at 9:46am - love - by helpme (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I received a call from my wife. It would've been great if she hadn't left on a business trip 3 years ago. FML

#21467934
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27208) - you deserved it (1487)

On 09/13/2015 at 10:22am - love - by TheLoneSoul - France

Today, I decided to bike to work. I normally forget the key to my lock, so I leave it out back and hope that nobody takes it, and nobody does. I finally remembered my lock key so I chained it up. After my 7 hour shift, I walk to the back only to find the lock had been cut, and my bike was gone. FML

#21464905
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24351) - you deserved it (1834)

On 09/05/2015 at 2:47pm - work - by Blue_Heart - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. It got hot and intense and we were really into it, until she blurted out, "Oh baby, rub your penis against mine". FML

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML

#21429657
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26847) - you deserved it (2388)

On 06/21/2015 at 5:37pm - kids - by hfs palm - United States

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

#21428778
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21482) - you deserved it (13292)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let a loud fart rip. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML

#21398419
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30304) - you deserved it (4549) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/23/2015 at 8:27am - kids - by bleue - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML

#21397889
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36973) - you deserved it (3509)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was so hungry when I finished work that I grabbed some chips to eat on the bus home. The guy who sat next to me spat in them as he left to get off. FML

#21373490
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31549) - you deserved it (2900)

On 03/12/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by Metallurge - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
471 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47079) - you deserved it (4417)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML

#21355550
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35391) - you deserved it (3814)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand and my mother found it. She refuses to believe that my boyfriend and I are not responsible. As punishment I am "no longer allowed to see him." We're both 22 and live together in our own apartment. FML

#21331631
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41939) - you deserved it (3184)

On 01/05/2015 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by innocent (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML

#21321894
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34968) - you deserved it (6337)

On 12/22/2014 at 3:05am - love - by ScottyB - United States (Massachusetts)



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