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LowExpectations

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LowExpectations

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2569
  • Number of comments : 268
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About LowExpectations : "All humans are inferior in the eyes of Morbo. "

LowExpectations's page activity

Visits<b>milehigh52</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 2:38am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 9:49pm<b>4ddtnof40801</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 6:57am<b>danthehuman</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 11:31pm<b>Theglc20</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 2:24pm<b>emeraldisle</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 12:19am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 10:16pm<b>papygeorges</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 9:08pm<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 12:18am<b>llalala</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 2:39am<b>imyy</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 8:37am<b>asdfghjklmoo</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 6:54am<b>justmeee12</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 1:01am<b>beachygirl24</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 12:35am<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:26pm<b>xwingtwo</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 8:28pm<b>theweasel</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 5:19pm<b>annihil8or</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 12:13am

Fucked!<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 4:16am

LowExpectations's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

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LowExpectations's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML

#21429657
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25100) - you deserved it (2058)

On 06/21/2015 at 5:37pm - kids - by hfs palm - United States

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

#21428778
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20347) - you deserved it (12375)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let a loud fart rip. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML

#21398419
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28247) - you deserved it (4010) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/23/2015 at 8:27am - kids - by bleue - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML

#21397889
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32946) - you deserved it (2847)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was so hungry when I finished work that I grabbed some chips to eat on the bus home. The guy who sat next to me spat in them as he left to get off. FML

#21373490
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (211) - you deserved it (12)

On 03/12/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by Metallurge - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
462 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44445) - you deserved it (4026)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML

#21355550
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33439) - you deserved it (3389)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand and my mother found it. She refuses to believe that my boyfriend and I are not responsible. As punishment I am "no longer allowed to see him." We're both 22 and live together in our own apartment. FML

#21331631
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39070) - you deserved it (2973)

On 01/05/2015 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by innocent (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML

#21321894
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33687) - you deserved it (6163)

On 12/22/2014 at 3:05am - love - by ScottyB - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to explain to a customer that 50% off a $50 item did not make the item free. FML

#21307823
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38199) - you deserved it (2510)

On 11/28/2014 at 10:36pm - misc - by idiots - United States (Texas)

Today, I noticed my fish was still hungry after feeding him earlier. I figured, "Eh, a little bit more won't kill him". I was wrong. FML

#21303699
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29564) - you deserved it (8347)

On 11/22/2014 at 2:22am - animals - by liishax3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

#21301827
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35413) - you deserved it (3692)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:27am - intimacy - by jigglypluff (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

#21290572
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37160) - you deserved it (4414)

On 11/02/2014 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41349) - you deserved it (12406)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)



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