Lorenzzon

Search for a member

Offline (the 04/07/2016 at 7:45am)

Lorenzzon

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 3 August 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 845
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Lorenzzon : Message me if u wanna chat 😃

Lorenzzon's page activity

Visits<b>Haley_bear</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 6:32pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 4:37pm<b>LegoHouse17</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 7:06pm<b>beaglegal</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 8:45pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 6:20pm<b>AzariusStar01</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 4:05am<b>Gundai</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 6:58am<b>pharm121</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 10:45am<b>JayGatsby</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 1:16pm<b>ez24_</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:26pm<b>ashleylove0525</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:57pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 1:18pm<b>ironfey</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 7:41pm<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 6:19pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 9:10pm<b>Miss_Whipped</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 5:24pm<b>lirideout</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 8:52pm<b>cassieperiodbee</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 5:34am

Fucked!<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 10:37pm

Lorenzzon's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of Lorenzzon's badges

Lorenzzon's favorite FMLs

Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2015 at 11:26am / Canada (Manitoba) / Kids

Today, I went to a domestic violence counseling group. I was the only male there, and I explained that my girlfriend punches me in the face in front of my kids. Everyone started laughing. FML

by SOTS4335 / 05/16/2015 at 6:16pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

by mybfthecrossdresser / 01/20/2015 at 10:08am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

by embarrassed / 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

by Emliy / 08/01/2014 at 1:06am / United States (Illinois) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

by fuck you, kid / 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2014 at 4:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

by oh shit / 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I went on a job interview. The interviewer said it all went well, but he can't hire me because I've got a nose piercing, and that type of "image" isn't the kind they're looking for in their employees. This is the guy who had a full sleeve tattoo. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2014 at 2:06pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

by STOP / 05/08/2014 at 9:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

by traumatized / 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I would like to thank the program designer that put "Set as home page" directly under "Remove from history". FML

by The_Rest_of_the_Story / 12/14/2013 at 1:38am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids

Today, I was at a party with a few of my friends. We saw a guy walking around with bright pink lipstick all over his mouth, so we made a bet to see who could match the lipstick to the girl first. I won. It was my girlfriend's. FML

by Anonymous / 11/11/2013 at 10:55am / United States / Love