LordoftheOcelots

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LordoftheOcelots

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 10 April 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 727
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About LordoftheOcelots : I like to draw and I like ocelots and unicorns.
I'm bisexual, I'm only social on the Internet. I like to read the misfortune of others and pray it doesn't happen to me. I like Anime and webcomics. I love Homestuck and Hetalia. I play on Steam, gamer tag Bird Dog, picture Equius.


Narcissistic part:
I'm sexy
I'm awesome

LordoftheOcelots's page activity

Visits<b>happysmile987</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 2:24am<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 10:59pm<b>hai111</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 7:50pm<b>DeathBunny218</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 2:34am<b>fuckthepolice12</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:24am<b>hafahag</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 4:51am<b>bassguitar98</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 6:48am<b>threer</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 10:44pm<b>MrMcRooster</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 1:41am<b>Bloink</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 12:07am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 5:02am<b>Yoshi12343</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 3:34pm<b>marleyalana</b> - the 09/23/2013 at 8:35pm<b>The_Mr_Troll</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 9:00am<b>vj21</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 6:22pm<b>hexo21</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 10:44pm<b>ThatSmartOne</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 11:46pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 12:19am

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LordoftheOcelots's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

by interphaseprophasemetaphase / 09/04/2013 at 7:18am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML

by crappingrapping / 05/21/2013 at 11:01am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I met one of my favorite web-comic artists. As I purchased a shirt from their booth he asked, "What size?" I stupidly asked "How big is a small?" He chuckled, "It's small" and chuckled some more. So much for keeping it cool. FML

by stupidquestionsstupidpeople / 04/29/2013 at 11:32pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

by excusemeprincess / 02/11/2013 at 12:08pm / United States (New York) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML

by great. / 01/02/2013 at 1:59pm / Love

Today, proving that there's no limit to the stupid shit people will do, my husband called me from hospital, needing a lift home. He tried planking on top of his car while his buddies sped it down a hill, and I now have to take care of him while his broken leg heals. FML

by say dump him and i'll kill you / 12/28/2012 at 7:50pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my car was broken into. What was stolen? My daughter's $11 One Direction poster. What will it cost to fix my car? $1,000. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2012 at 11:58pm / Canada (Alberta) / Money

Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

by WTFFAIL / 12/03/2012 at 12:06am / Canada (Quebec) / Health

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

by Targeted / 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, despite my pleading, my boyfriend mounted a set of bullhorns above our headboard. Guess what came crashing down on our heads at 2am. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2012 at 10:44am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

by Andrew / 10/23/2012 at 3:12pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids

Today, I had sex with a Juggalo. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2011 at 7:20pm / United States / Intimacy