Lobster

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Lobster

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 40528
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Lobster : BOO.

Lobster's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 8:07am<b>Disobey</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 7:40pm<b>HaonSnevets</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 7:37pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 3:08pm<b>itzdj</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 10:19pm<b>CassidyAnne</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 9:59pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:11pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:55am<b>Njord09</b> - the 07/31/2009 at 3:51pm<b>redxapplexoxo</b> - the 07/24/2009 at 5:03pm<b>altna</b> - the 06/03/2009 at 12:38pm<b>lizarddx0x0</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 2:58pm<b>annoyedwife5</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 2:44pm<b>pyromaniac239</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 12:21pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 06/02/2009 at 2:01am<b>donnieandalicia</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 11:43pm<b>jmud</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 8:04pm<b>Holybatman</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 1:44am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 2:07pm

Lobster's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Lobster's favorite FMLs

Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML

by PeepShow / 08/06/2009 at 2:04am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked out to my car to see a broken window, a bunch of stuff missing, egg shells, and a note that read "stop banging my boyfriend". I haven't had anyone in over a year. FML

by gkline09 / 08/06/2009 at 1:28am / United States / Transportation

Today, I was puked on for the third time in three years at our annual choir concert. What makes it so significant? The fact that the same guy pukes on me every year from stage fright. We're arranged alphabetically, and he's always in the row RIGHT above me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2009 at 5:27pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother deleted all traces of the novel I've been working on for three years from my laptop. The reason? When I was born I "stole all of Mum and Dad's attention." He's 24. FML

by frustrated / 08/05/2009 at 4:30pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2009 at 11:21am / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

by unbelievable208 / 08/05/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was leaving the mall. I Instinctively hit the unlock button on my car keys from across the parking lot. Little did I know I was making it a whole lot easier for the guy breaking into my car. FML

by Al / 08/05/2009 at 12:13am / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation

Today, I received a $250 ticket when I parked my car, that has the disabled placard, in a handicapped spot at a Wal-Mart. The officer said she watched me get out of the car and walk to store without appearing to be disabled. I'm 59 years old, have a steel rod in my spine and a prosthetic hip. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2009 at 10:34pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML

by andi0804 / 08/04/2009 at 9:33pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was wearing my favorite tube top to the mall when a girl walked up and said, "I have that exact same skirt, why are you wearing it as a top?" I've been wearing it for two years, and no one's bothered to tell me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2009 at 7:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on my couch when my landlord walked in. He asked what I was doing there. I responded with the same question. Apparently my roommate forgot to call me and tell me that our lease ended three days ago. I am now standing in the parking lot with all my belongings, and it is raining. FML

by bigryngf / 08/04/2009 at 6:12pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working the lighting for a drama production. In the last scene, two characters realize they are in love and kiss, then the stage goes dark. I mixed up my settings, and instead of a blackout, flashing party lights started going off. 300 people turn around to stare at me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2009 at 4:22pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML

by just_a_bit_akwRd / 08/04/2009 at 12:15am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

by BeboKhaos / 08/03/2009 at 10:37pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got a lovely little surprise after I got out of the shower. That lovely little surprise? I got stung in the scrotum by a hornet that had decided to nestle itself inside the towel I was drying off with. FML

by Tyler / 08/03/2009 at 2:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous