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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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LivexForever21's favorite FMLs
Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML
by Anonymous / 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, at Walmart, a woman kept screaming at her husband for the most ridiculous reasons. My friend snickered that she must be on her period, prompting her to whirl around, storm over, and slap the hell out of me, thinking I was the one who said it. FML
by what's a rimjob between friends? / 09/06/2013 at 5:42pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by jesus christ, dad / 09/06/2013 at 12:48pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy
Today, while working at Home Depot, I was asked to cut some wire. When I asked her how much, she said, "From my computer to the wall". After explaining for a while that I didn't know how far that is, she left. FML
by tdawgg / 09/06/2013 at 10:12am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by lifesucks0925 / 09/06/2013 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I had my first date in almost four years. Twenty minutes into our dinner date, I excused myself to use the ladies room. When I came back, not only was he gone, but there was also a security guard waiting to walk me out. I still have no clue why he left or why I got kicked out. FML
by thissinglelife / 09/06/2013 at 2:42am / United States (California) / Love
by Thesuz / 09/05/2013 at 11:27pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by whatjusthappened / 09/05/2013 at 8:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by single again / 09/05/2013 at 8:29pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, a soon-to-be-ex co-worker flew into a rage when she saw she wasn't on the schedule for next week. The boss told her it's because she quit. She reminded the boss she wants to keep working part-time. My new job is inventing tasks for her to do to keep her calm. FML
by Zuzubat / 09/05/2013 at 7:29pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, I got a message from my teacher about my homework. We were supposed to write an original myth explaining a natural event. My teacher bumped my grade for it down to a C for copying a myth that already exists. My myth was based on an original story I've been writing for two years. FML
by WritesTooWell / 09/05/2013 at 7:27pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that if I say "make a sandwich", it doesn't matter what context it's in, or whether it's a command or just me describing my day; I'll be yelled at anyway by my hipster roommate for being a "sexist cunt", then end up apologizing just to get her to shut up. FML
by Anonymous / 09/05/2013 at 3:11pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
Today, after my grandma did some early Halloween costume shopping, I witnessed her modeling a "sexy nurse" outfit. After seeing her bare thighs and most of her ass, I don't think I can eat cottage cheese ever again. FML
by fuck my liBLARGHSLJNAdlajdSzxz / 09/05/2013 at 12:39pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy
Today, I arrived at my college dorm. To help me sleep, I listened to my local radio from my phone. Little did I know, they turn off the wifi for part of the night, and hours of music were streamed onto my phone. Guess who now owes the phone company all my money. FML
by OweLotsaMoney / 09/05/2013 at 11:49am / United States / Money
by GotMyBitchBack / 09/05/2013 at 7:02am / United States (Ohio) / Animals
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…
- Today, my boyfriend said to me, "You know how I know I love you? I don't want you to leave after we… Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper,… Today, I got home from work early and discovered why my 17-year-old daughter's sprained elbow isn't…