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Little_Lamb

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Little_Lamb
  • Town/Country : Texas, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 October 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 974
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Little_Lamb : Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones and I will try to fix you

Little_Lamb's last visitors

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Little_Lamb's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Little_Lamb's badges

Little_Lamb's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61792) - you deserved it (5650)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML

#20133203
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26092) - you deserved it (2092)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Agirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML

#19959612
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23470) - you deserved it (2758)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:05pm - health - by owwwww - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend pointed out that the water bill is getting kind of high. I suggested that we shower together to save water. He said he'd rather deal with the high water bill. FML

#19889068
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24789) - you deserved it (3240)

On 07/04/2012 at 1:36am - love - by LonelyShowers (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was entering a guy's number into my phone, and I couldn't remember his name. Embarrassed, I tried to be sneaky and asked, "Can you spell your name for me, please?" His name is Bob. FML

#19861298
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8340) - you deserved it (24796) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/28/2012 at 3:58pm - misc - by Bernadette (woman) -

Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML

#19853793
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5747) - you deserved it (22908)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by deli Shoppe - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

#19566058
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10141) - you deserved it (25808)

On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11936) - you deserved it (30227)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML

#19352166
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18707) - you deserved it (4834)

On 03/26/2012 at 4:56pm - intimacy - by JC (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked my mom if she could buy me some anti-nausea medicine. She said, "You just have a stomach ache. It's not like you're throwing up." As she said it, I threw up everything but my childhood memories. She still wouldn't get any medicine. FML

Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML

#19058382
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7651) - you deserved it (23484)

On 02/12/2012 at 4:50pm - misc - by fuck teh poleese (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42076) - you deserved it (36795)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

#18728006
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25778) - you deserved it (3601)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to cut short my New Year's resolution of going to the gym daily, when the meathead next to me dropped some heavy weights, which bounced and landed on my foot. I'm sitting at home in a cast. FML

#18705710
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23762) - you deserved it (1934)

On 01/04/2012 at 11:55am - health - by gimpy (man) - United States (California)

Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML

#18438715
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14650) - you deserved it (2631)

On 12/05/2011 at 7:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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