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Offline (the 04/14/2015 at 10:51pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1520
  • Number of comments : 415
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Link5794's page activity

Visits<b>hemiol</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 3:31pm<b>swimthenread27</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 10:44pm<b>NoBothersForMe</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 7:01am<b>FujisakiChihiro</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 2:54pm<b>racerboy102</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 7:45pm<b>jason202700</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 5:54pm<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 1:22pm<b>Mshocket03</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 9:59pm<b>CommandoGregor</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 11:47am<b>XxPojoxX</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 11:26pm<b>tiggerlover100</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 12:35am<b>hanna_1626</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 2:19am<b>EmperorChowilio</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 3:57pm<b>arctic111</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 1:32pm<b>namine120409</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 12:24pm<b>smb12346</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 2:56am<b>killerdana</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 12:39am<b>seabrook</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 12:12am

Link5794's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Link5794's badges

Link5794's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I was at my class's band concert. Before the curtain was raised, I helped haul the piano to a different spot so a girl who would've had to stand behind it could be seen. I said, "There, now your mom can see you play!" She responded with, "My mom's blind." FML

by Anonymous / 03/02/2013 at 1:22am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML

by dormeur / 01/18/2013 at 6:39am / Animals

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

by ugh / 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, my boss was telling everyone that he knew a guy who went to a college at which multiple people were shot and killed recently. Being extremely socially awkward and uncomfortable, I blurted, "That's awesome." Now everyone in the office is terrified of me. FML

by Adan / 12/04/2012 at 4:34pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML

by Read The Fine Print / 11/24/2012 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML

Today, my daughter tried to sneak out of the house. When I caught her, she freaked out and punched me in the face. She then "snapped out of it" and claimed she was sleepwalking. FML

by abbielane / 06/25/2012 at 12:08am / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

by lolilovemyboyfriend / 10/19/2011 at 10:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm / United States / Kids

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

by Cecilly2010 / 04/28/2011 at 11:53am / Animals


by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek

Today, I received a 7 page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML

by mylifesuckssss / 10/09/2010 at 12:39am / United States / Miscellaneous