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Lilyum's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Lilyum's favorite FMLs
by Username / 04/16/2011 at 1:14am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad said that if I walked home from school, a distance of 8 miles, he would give me $50. Two hours and four massive blisters later, I come home. When I asked for my money, he said "I was kidding." FML
by hiker / 03/29/2011 at 3:00pm / United States / Money
Today, I was driving home at night, and got into an accident. Someone had left a toilet in the middle of the road. I hit it. The toilet's fine, but my car now has a toilet-shaped dent in the front. FML
by jballer / 03/22/2011 at 1:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation
by NoMeatFail / 02/26/2011 at 7:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to dinner with friends for my birthday. During the whole thing they insisted that we get whatever we wanted and celebrate, but when the check came, they all looked at me expectantly. I just bought my friends $150 of food for my birthday present. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 10:33am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was out of the house, my 6 year old brother stole my new waterproof camera, dunked it into the toilet holding onto the wrist strap, and flushed repeatedly to see if it lived up to its "waterproof promise." It didn't. FML
by fmylife. / 11/29/2010 at 1:02pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to admit to my parents that the reason I don't want a sixteenth birthday party isn't because I'm being spoiled and I expected my parents to take me on a lavish vacation, but because I don't have any friends to invite. FML
by sadstorylifee / 11/25/2010 at 7:08pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by me / 11/11/2010 at 1:11pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health
Today, I was playing my bass clarinet around the house. I asked my dad if he would be at my concert on December 16th. His response was, "No, I'm working that day." My dad is a plumber, and gets called to work completely at random; he has no schedule. FML
by Anonymous / 11/02/2010 at 9:49pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized the benefits at Burger King are better than at my company. I'm an engineer, have three degrees, speak three languages fluently, and work at a multi-billion dollar company. The guy flipping burgers has better health care and more corporate 401k contributions than I do. FML
by engineerdude91 / 10/19/2010 at 11:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by ifpigsflew / 10/04/2010 at 7:31pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Health
Today, it was the first day of astronomy class and we all waited for the professor to enter the classroom. All of a sudden, someone turns the lights off, it's pitch black, and we hear the professor saying, "Greetings earthlings..." It's going to be a long semester. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2010 at 2:04am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, after almost a week of being bed-ridden with a bad flu, my mom told me it was my job to clean the house. When I told her I still had a fever and didn't feel well, she looked at me and said in an understanding voice "It's okay honey, you can do it slowly." FML
by Anonymous / 09/01/2010 at 10:41am / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Health
by Sara246 / 08/19/2010 at 7:11pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…