Lilyum

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Offline (the 03/27/2016 at 9:16pm)

Lilyum

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2487
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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Lilyum's page activity

Visits<b>jman5415</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 10:49am<b>TheImaginarySong</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 10:13pm<b>Osmoses</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 2:41am<b>Kandi_Neko</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 4:28pm<b>ohaidereitszeex3</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 11:00pm<b>chandlerbelacic</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 11:29am<b>Shmatterhorn</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 4:45pm<b>graceh58</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 8:38pm<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 1:17am<b>lilahlov</b> - the 03/28/2013 at 1:05am<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 7:46pm

Lilyum's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Lilyum's badges

Lilyum's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML

by Kathryn / 08/13/2011 at 6:31am / Belgium / Kids

Today, my dad nearly had a head-on collision with another car, but I grabbed the wheel at the last second, potentially saving both our lives. He spent the rest of the car trip pissed at me because I'd "interfered" with his driving. FML

by laurlaur / 08/05/2011 at 5:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, my mother and aunt got into an argument about who had gotten groped more times in public. I don't know what's more disturbing, that my own mother would brag about getting groped, or that she won the argument, at 34 times. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2011 at 3:04am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my parents wouldn't let me go to the fair because they reckon my IQ is so low, I could quite possibly choke on cotton candy and pass out confused by the hall of mirrors. FML

by vsf / 08/01/2011 at 8:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband, who is in the Navy, had a couple of his sailor friends over to hang out. The stereotype about their swearing is true. My two year old now won't stop saying "Fuck." FML

by oliveoyl / 07/23/2011 at 12:05am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, one of my students corrected the problem I had solved on the board, explaining that you do multiplication before subtraction. I teach the second grade. FML

by gutav indogop / 06/24/2011 at 2:47am / Switzerland (Aargau) / Work

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

by ugh / 06/14/2011 at 1:56pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received roughly 50 paper cuts while I was at work. I didn't realize this until after I applied hand sanitizer. FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2011 at 12:35pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Work

Today, after spending thousands of dollars and several years pursuing a higher education so I could get a high paying job doing something that requires skill and brainpower, I finally got my first job offer after months of searching. I will be cleaning houses. FML

by disappointed / 06/07/2011 at 1:05pm / United States (Idaho) / Work

Today, I accidentally said, "Yes, Sir." to my female teacher. I then apologized by saying, "Sorry, Sir." FML

by OopsKid / 05/30/2011 at 2:14pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that whenever I send my son to his room, he goes on his iPod and buys the most expensive apps he can find. So far I've been charged $600. FML

by StupidApple / 05/24/2011 at 8:02pm / Kids

Today, my parents woke me up by pouring a glass of freezing cold water over my head. Their reason? They were 'bored'. FML

by missmirror / 05/02/2011 at 7:00pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML

by MathTeacher / 05/02/2011 at 10:30am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2011 at 12:10am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm / United States / Animals