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Lilyum's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Lilyum's favorite FMLs
Today, my kids tried to make grilled cheese by turning the toaster sideways. When all was done, it all flew out onto the kitchen floor. Both my kids and my husband left the mess there for me to clean up when I got home. FML
by Anonymous / 01/23/2012 at 5:07pm / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/22/2012 at 3:25am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by nevasurprised / 01/10/2012 at 9:50am / Germany / Work
by facepalmface / 12/05/2011 at 9:34am / United Arab Emirates (Abu Dhabi) / Miscellaneous
by hatemyboss / 11/03/2011 at 12:13pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML
by last literate / 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Work
by anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 11:36am / Sri Lanka / Miscellaneous
Today, I was giving an anti-drugs speech to a group of ninth graders. I got onto the topic of trafficking from problem countries and asked a student to point out Mexico City on a map. He hesitated a few seconds before pointing at Canada. What the hell has the education system come to? FML
by jesus christ / 09/30/2011 at 10:55pm / United States / Kids
by sadkid / 09/25/2011 at 7:23pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a lady come in to order a pizza. She wanted to use a free delivery coupon. After telling her several times that she couldn't use a free delivery coupon, unless she was having the pizza delivered, she told me I have horrible people skills. FML
by pea / 09/12/2011 at 2:32pm / United States / Work
Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My dad came to pick me up, but after I had put my backpack in the back seat and closed the car door, he drove off without me. It started to rain, and I was without my phone or wallet. FML
by poisongrl / 09/06/2011 at 6:53pm / Macedonia (Karpos) / Transportation
by WhatTheFaf / 09/01/2011 at 10:40am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Work
Today, at work, I heard a weird sound coming from the ceiling. As I looked up to see what it was, a huge splash of water hit me in the face. I called mall maintenance to let them know. They told me they already knew about the leak... from the sewage line. FML
by honeybee2487 / 08/30/2011 at 1:35pm / United States / Work
Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML
by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 3:42am / United States (Texas) / Work
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…