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Lilyum's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Lilyum's favorite FMLs
by LucidNightmare / 01/27/2013 at 12:38am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to suffer through a two-hour long trivia game with my boyfriend's family. As if that wasn't annoying enough, my boyfriend caused the pair of us to lose by just a single point, because he answered "Quebec" to the question of "What is the capital city of France?" FML
by twohoursclosertodeath / 01/26/2013 at 5:57pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/26/2013 at 5:20pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/23/2013 at 7:17pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Miscellaneous
Today, I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours, my brother punched me, and my mom slapped me across the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my things to leave, my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML
by mariama / 01/23/2013 at 12:45pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by AnonCat / 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
by Anon / 01/18/2013 at 12:53am / United States (Texas) / Money
by pigtails / 01/16/2013 at 7:21am / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was the last person in line for going on the bus. Incidentally, I was right behind a guy way taller and wider than me. When he got on the bus, the bus driver immediately shut the door behind him. I was left outside chasing after the bus. FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2013 at 1:42am / Transportation
Today, after a long, horrible day at work and some fighting with my family and my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2013 at 3:56pm / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML
by IvyLeague? / 01/14/2013 at 9:52pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by anon / 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by I'm screwed / 01/12/2013 at 8:30pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health
Today, I opened the door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML
by fucking mafia or what?? / 01/12/2013 at 5:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anon / 01/09/2013 at 2:27pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I came home from working twelve hours straight. Feeling rather frisky, I attempted to seduce… Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden… Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her…