About Lilly2shoes : Unicornz!!!
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Lilly2shoes's favorite FMLs
Today, at the supermarket, a woman came up to me and said I looked just like her son, who was killed in Afghanistan. She tearfully asked if she could hug me "one last time". It was a little weird, but I let her. 10 minutes later, at the checkout, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
by Justin 'Cuntface' Bieber III / 06/14/2015 at 9:41am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
by Anonymous / 06/14/2015 at 4:10am / United Kingdom (Stockport) / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML
by patient_mom / 06/13/2015 at 9:27pm / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
by sadbuttru95 / 06/13/2015 at 5:20pm / Denmark (Sjelland) / Animals
by thanks for the $5 gift voucher / 06/13/2015 at 12:34pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
Today, I started my new job at a haunted house. I figured I'd change clothes when I got home, since my bloody shirt and zombie makeup were blatantly just an outfit. I barely made it 10 minutes before I was pinned to the ground at gunpoint, cuffed, and needing new underwear. FML
by Anonymous / 06/13/2015 at 11:47am / United States (Arkansas) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/13/2015 at 10:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by lanaoftherey / 06/02/2015 at 5:30pm / United States / Transportation
by Cammi0 / 06/02/2015 at 1:58pm / United States / Kids
Today, I sneezed and ended up in the emergency room. How? Apparently the sneeze dislodged a kidney stone that is now slowly, painfully working its way from my kidney to my bladder so that I can piss it out. FML
by work_while_bent / 06/02/2015 at 1:21pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, one of my tires blew out on the highway. I managed to slow down and pull over without dying, and went to get my spare tire. I found it right where it was supposed to be, knifed to hell and with a taunting note from my psycho ex taped to it. We broke up nearly 3 years ago. FML
by Milo / 06/02/2015 at 12:50pm / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/02/2015 at 11:23am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by skid / 06/02/2015 at 10:59am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I received a beautiful, heart-felt text from my boyfriend detailing all the ways he loved me. He probably should have emphasized just how big his heart is though because he sent the text to three other women too. Thank you, group messaging. FML
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got… 3Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for…