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Lillie_bird's FML badges
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Lillie_bird's favorite FMLs
by anonymous / 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML
by you ripped them off ages ago / 08/17/2014 at 2:15am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Kids
by jake / 08/12/2014 at 6:21am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML
by Anonymous / 08/03/2014 at 1:16am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
by WickedRene / 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, while working an early shift, I was dressing a wound on a gorgeous guy, when he laughed and pointed out some granny panties next to me on the floor. I guess I forgot to take yesterday's underwear out of my pants before putting them back on this morning. FML
by dorrisdoes / 07/28/2014 at 4:47pm / New Zealand / Work
by ChristinePi / 07/26/2014 at 6:09pm / United States (New York) / Money
Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML
by FML / 07/24/2014 at 11:59am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Death By Parent / 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML
by LoveGlove / 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by MiserableMan / 06/10/2014 at 12:02am / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Love
by Sam / 05/04/2014 at 2:12am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML
by HanBroman / 03/17/2014 at 4:05am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (New York) / Kids
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, at my oldest sisters wedding she forgot something borrowed. she looked at me and said if I'm… Today, my new guy friend told me that he is madly in love with me. When I suggested "let's give it… Today, the same boss that made me cry last week for something that wasn't my fault, flipped a shit…