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Offline (the 09/05/2014 at 8:30am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1219
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Lillie_bird's page activity

Visits<b>firefighterwife</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 1:26pm<b>Umbreon_Princess</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 9:46pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 1:52am<b>skychu</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 6:02pm<b>michaelaranda</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 2:06am<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 9:28am<b>greg14</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 2:47pm<b>Denny1</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 9:39pm<b>UnluckyGenius</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 3:26am<b>1PersonIsMyWorld</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 1:58pm<b>ApexReaper</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 4:08am<b>BellaBelle</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 12:39pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 11:40am<b>LukeE45</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 5:29pm<b>hotshot0185</b> - the 05/06/2013 at 8:52am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 8:53pm<b>tacojauns</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 12:32am<b>djayy9011</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 7:41am

Lillie_bird's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of Lillie_bird's badges

Lillie_bird's favorite FMLs

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

by anonymous / 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

by you ripped them off ages ago / 08/17/2014 at 2:15am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Kids

Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML

by jake / 08/12/2014 at 6:21am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2014 at 1:16am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

by WickedRene / 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, while working an early shift, I was dressing a wound on a gorgeous guy, when he laughed and pointed out some granny panties next to me on the floor. I guess I forgot to take yesterday's underwear out of my pants before putting them back on this morning. FML

by dorrisdoes / 07/28/2014 at 4:47pm / New Zealand / Work

Today, I woke up from a horrible nightmare. What was it about? Me accidentally scratching a non-stick pan with my utility knife. FML

by ChristinePi / 07/26/2014 at 6:09pm / United States (New York) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

by FML / 07/24/2014 at 11:59am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

by Death By Parent / 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

by LoveGlove / 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

by MiserableMan / 06/10/2014 at 12:02am / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Love

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

by Sam / 05/04/2014 at 2:12am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML

by HanBroman / 03/17/2014 at 4:05am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (New York) / Kids