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Life_is_FML

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Life_is_FML

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 February 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3400
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 64 posted

About Life_is_FML : I mainly enjoy playing video games (mass effect, fallout, Assasins' creed, etc) as well as playing the saxophone.

Life_is_FML's page activity

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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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Life_is_FML's favorite FMLs

Today, my soon-to-be stepson, 13, decided that he and I needed to spend "more quality time" together. His idea? We should start "bonding" by taking a bath together. When I said no, he told me I was being unfair, and that if I really loved him, I'd do it. FML

#19999925
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30948) - you deserved it (2404)

On 08/03/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the only reason why I haven't had a relationship last for more than a week the past 4 years is because of my stalker ex-girlfriend, who has been keeping other women out of my life by making up horrible stories about me. She broke up with me 5 years ago. FML

#19804016
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27751) - you deserved it (1920)

On 06/17/2012 at 9:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML

#19743527
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36102) - you deserved it (5849)

On 06/06/2012 at 10:19am - misc - by Bishop (man) -

Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML

#19739017
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24603) - you deserved it (7280)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Damn (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend gave birth to our first child. Our nurse was the lady I had a one night stand with 3 nights ago, and yes she remembered me. FML

#19584401
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13490) - you deserved it (172502)

On 05/06/2012 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by T3STI (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML

#19504672
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26638) - you deserved it (4598)

On 04/21/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by wmkaz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML

#19460491
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10444) - you deserved it (27309)

On 04/13/2012 at 9:11am - intimacy - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I went to my Christian accountability partner from church to talk about continuing to maintain Christian values. We had sex. Oh, the irony. FML

#19409993
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9639) - you deserved it (39208)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Badchristian (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17301) - you deserved it (29709)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML

#18811640
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38992) - you deserved it (3512)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me over for an "important chat". This chat consisted of him not only insisting that we have sex whenever he feels like it, but demanding that I take birth control pills, because making him wear a condom is "sexist and degrading". FML

#18283192
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42873) - you deserved it (6064)

On 11/18/2011 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty, when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here." from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

#17657818
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36330) - you deserved it (7355)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:16am - misc - by Pizza-less - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
446 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64839) - you deserved it (6763)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, is the anniversary of my cat's death, so I went to visit her grave in the pet cemetery. Someone had spray-painted "Your cat sucks" on her grave. FML

#16350161
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47915) - you deserved it (10620)

On 05/25/2011 at 10:48pm - animals - by nrelavender - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally decided to tell my parents I was a lesbian. They spent the next few hours reading me the bible. FML

#15377082
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49413) - you deserved it (21534)

On 03/19/2011 at 1:26am - love - by lezbplove - Canada (Ontario)



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