About Life_is_FML : I mainly enjoy playing video games (mass effect, fallout, Assasins' creed, etc) as well as playing the saxophone.
Life_is_FML's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Life_is_FML's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/18/2015 at 8:34am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/14/2015 at 11:08am / Denmark / Miscellaneous
Today, I am 1,000 days sober and drug-free. I suffer from depression and I am craving terribly. I have a migraine and a bladder infection. And I can deal with all of this. But what I can't deal with is my dipshit coworker asking if I want to go out for drinks and snort cocaine to celebrate. FML
by Tattoo_Freak / 08/14/2015 at 7:08am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Health
Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML
by NotJobbing / 08/11/2015 at 7:05pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work
Today, my boss at my new job described a client as "retarded". I corrected him with "mentally disabled". He smirked and replied "Whatever. Just explain things to her real slow. After all, she's 'mentally disabled'. And a woman." I need this job so bad that I'll have to just put up with this asshole. FML
by Anonymous / 08/07/2015 at 10:27am / United States (California) / Work
by ugly duckling / 08/06/2015 at 3:18pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to take a drugs test at work. Later, I found out it was my fiancé's mother who called our hotline. Her reason: I work till 6 pm, her "baby" should eat before that, but he can't cook, so I should quit my job. He is 35. And he thinks I should apologize for upsetting her at dinner. FML
by Dobche / 08/06/2015 at 7:16am / Bulgaria (Burgas) / Work
Today, I was on a date, and I tried breaking the ice by telling him my best joke. He laughed hysterically for a good 10 seconds, started beating the table with his fist, then suddenly went deadpan and said "No, seriously, you're a moron. Screw this date." FML
by HAIL SITHIS / 07/24/2015 at 2:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after hours of waiting in line, I finally met my favorite band. After posing for a picture, I looked at my phone to find that instead of taking a picture with me and the band, my friend took selfies. FML
by simply_meeeee / 07/20/2015 at 11:10am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by BrittUnicorn / 07/06/2015 at 11:14am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
Today, my idiot boss placed an expensive order for anti-bullying banners that read: "Take a stand against bullying!" This would be fine if I didn't work in a specialized school for children in wheelchairs. FML
by Anonymous / 07/05/2015 at 5:29am / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, I'm five and a half weeks pregnant. One of my coworkers told me that it sucks that I'll have to wait so long to show. I asked her what she meant; she replied, "It's always harder to tell when big girls are pregnant. Can't tell what's fat and what's baby." FML
by pregnantfatty / 06/18/2015 at 8:58pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML
by RecentCollegeGrad / 06/17/2015 at 2:09pm / Kids
Today, my co-worker told me how "lucky" I am that I "chose" to be a lesbian, because I don't have to deal with "guy drama". I spent two years of my adolescence sleeping at a bus stop and begging strangers for money after I got kicked out of home. FML
by Lesbihonest / 06/17/2015 at 9:31am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by fisted / 06/12/2015 at 9:42am / United States (New York) / Health