Life_is_FML

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Offline (the 05/24/2016 at 3:43am)

Life_is_FML

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 February 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5297
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 65 posted

About Life_is_FML : I mainly enjoy playing video games (mass effect, fallout, Assasins' creed, etc) as well as playing the saxophone.

Life_is_FML's page activity

Visits<b>NYM88</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 7:45am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 11:32am<b>BerzerkHD</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 12:07am<b>Robby2448</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 10:59pm<b>toastbrot</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 8:42am<b>DragonsBane</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 2:41pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 8:23am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 9:47am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 8:13am<b>4Madden</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 11:45am<b>earlytermination</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 8:51am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 5:05am<b>acciofrenchhorn</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 12:00am<b>Ava_Darkflame</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 10:30pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 9:59pm<b>fragmen52</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 2:48pm<b>awkwardpony123</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 2:24pm<b>DjeePee</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 11:52am

Life_is_FML's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Life_is_FML's badges

Life_is_FML's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard a "friend" talking about me and my recently deceased dog. He said: "Only time I've seen someone get that upset over someone dying, they were fucking each other. Just sayin'." FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2016 at 2:50pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, at my minimum wage job, we received a half-way decomposed dog found in a lake. It was my job to tear open the bag and try to identify the breed and color. It would've been easier if the body wasn't crawling with maggots. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2016 at 10:24pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, my father contacted me for the first time in years to ask about my upcoming wedding and possibly walking me down the aisle. He claimed the only reason he left was because he thought I'd be gay. I am. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2016 at 4:03pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML

by anne / 01/07/2016 at 7:00am / Germany / Intimacy

Today, my dad sat me and my sister down and give us a "talk". More like an angry irrational rant. He forbade us from being gay, marrying a Muslim or a black person, demanded kids from both of us, and threatened to disown us if we didn't. Where's my free will? FML

by this is impossible / 01/04/2016 at 7:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time when she noticed I only have one testicle. She immediately broke up with me, for she doesn't want her future sons to be gay because they'll only have half of their testosterone. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2015 at 11:46pm / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, my mom made me go to church choir rehearsal with her so I could sing "the gay" out of me. FML

by PheobeBuffay / 12/11/2015 at 1:14pm / Norway (Vestfold) / Love

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

by not impressed / 10/09/2015 at 2:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I had to choke back tears as my cockslap of a brother brutally mocked me for being a 25-year-old loser who's never been kissed by a girl, while at 14 he's already lost his virginity. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2015 at 5:06am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, after weeks of my girlfriend constantly mentioning pegging and asking me to let her do it, I caved and figured I might as well stand by my "try anything once" rule. Her response? Saying she knew I was gay all along and dumping me. The fuck? FML

by no I've never asked for anal / 09/20/2015 at 9:44am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML

by Lady Vulva / 09/18/2015 at 10:56pm / Intimacy

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm / United States (West Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2015 at 7:28am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my girlfriend uninvited to me a party because she said her ex would be there, and since she hasn't told him about us, she didn't want him getting upset. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2015 at 3:21am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2015 at 3:02pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous